what matters // levi x reader

Chapter 6

[Time Skip]

[(y/n)'s POV]

1 day left.

We were all done with training. Levi and Hange were with Eren and the others, probably talking about the plan, whereas I was on top of the walls with some other soldiers. Many minutes had passed and I was only getting more and more anxious about tomorrow. I decided to sit down and relax for a bit, letting my feet hang from the other side of the wall and resting my chin on the back of my hand, looking down at the titans who were trying to reach me.

"Captain, please be careful." warned one soldier, his voice trembling.

"Don't worry." I replied calmly.

I really want to talk to someone. Hange is busy though and I don't really know any other female soldiers personally here except from..Petra!

I stood up and headed towards the HQ. As soon as I arrived, I went to the dinning area where I assumed Levi's squad was, Oluo, Eld, Gunther and Petra. And I was right. They all looked at me with smiling faces.

"Well if it isn't the one and only Captain (y/n). Unfortunately Levi isn't with us at the moment." said Oluo

Thought so.

"Actually, I wasn't looking for Levi."

"What brings you here then?" asked Eld kindly.

"I wanted to talk to Petra, but I am happy to see that you are all doing good as well."

She looked at me surprised. It's been a long time since I had a proper conversation with her. We would only greet each other sometimes and nothing more.

"M-Me? What for?" she asked.

"Well it's kind of a private matter, but if you are busy we can talk some other time-"

"No it's fine! I'm coming."

She stood up and followed me outside.

"So..what's up?"

"Oh um..I haven't been feeling well lately and I've been wanting to get some things out of my chest for a long time now, but since Hange is busy at the moment, I thought that maybe we could hang out?"

"Of course! What's been bothering you?"

I really don't want to say anything, but I trust Petra.

"Well first thing, I broke up with Levi.." I murmured.

"Really? Why?" she asked shocked.

"Things were difficult for us for us I guess. We would fight all the time, he was constantly busy, we wouldn't spend time toghether, and whenever we would, he wouldn't talk much and stuff. I don't know why, but I think that he stopped caring..."

"I think he has a reason for acting like that, but Captain has always been a cold and straightforward person. I don't know as much as you do about him or his past, but I think he gets confused whenever it comes to..love."

"I guess you're right.."

Sitting on top of a small hill, we remained silent for a bit until Petra decided to ask me something that not even Hange would ask. Well...

"Have you slept together?"

What the- why would she ask that out of a sudden?

I glanced at her shocked, only to see her blushing as well. Maybe she regretted asking me.

"That's too personal I apologise! I thought that maybe I would understand the situation better." she murmured shyly.

"Oh. Uh.. well yeah but only once. After that, we didn't have enough time I guess."

"I see.. Maybe it's because you two lack intimacy."

I slightly nodded and looked away, not really knowing the answer myself.

Maybe she is right.

"One day left. I'm kind of nervous to be honest. What about you Captain? I'm sure you're ready for- Captain? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You are crying."

I touched my cheeks only to feel tears on them.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't worry about it! I'm just a bit anxious for tomorrow that's all. I'm sorry for acting like that."

"You don't have to apologise. Are you sure that that's all?" she asked, her voice calm and soothing.

"I just.. don't know what to do. People look up to me and I'm afraid that I'm going to let them down. The citizens, Erwin, Levi.. heck, everyone! I play an important role in humanity and I need to show bravery and strength! That we are indeed going to have a peaceful future! And yet, I am doing nothing. Levi was right."

I can't believe I broke down in front of someone, let alone Petra, who flinches whenever I am around. All these years I've kept my feelings to myself, though, I feel like a weight has been lifted from me.

"Hey you're not weak! Heck, you're one of the strongest people I know! They don't call you the 2nd strongest for nothing. It is normal for you to feel anxious especially in a time like this. People look up to you not only because of your rank or because you fight titans, but because you care for them deeply! I've watched you help around town too! We are all grateful for you!" she exclaimed, smiling warmly.

I can't believe she feels this way about me.

Not long after what she said, she hugged me. I was surprised at first, but I hugged her back eitherway.

"Thank you.." I whispered.

"You're welcome Captain!"

"You can call me (y/n)."

"Alright! (y/n)!"