what matters // levi x reader

Chapter 11

[ (y/n)'s POV ]

Uhhh.. my head hurts like hell.. wait, am I moving?

I opened my eyes, only to see that I was laying down on a wooden cart, with someone pressing a cloth on my wound.

"Captain you're awake!"

I then realized that it was a scout.

"What happened?" I asked as I slowly tried to stand up.

"Captain you need to lay down." he stressed, trying to calm me down.

"I'm the one giving orders." I spat out, earning a shocked expression from him. "Shit, I apologize."

"It's okay, I understand. It must be hard for you after losing two of your teammates."

"What? They died?" I immediately stood up but felt a sharp pain on my head, leading to me falling to my knees.

"Captain Levi, Captain (y/n) is awake!" informed the scout.

"(y/n)!" he approached me while riding on his horse.

"Levi..."

"I know.." he murmured. He then pointed next to me, where two bodies were laying down covered.

I reluctantly uncovered their faces, only to see my two fallen comrades. I felt anger, but mostly saddness. I took both of their hands in mine and put them near my heart.

"You fought well. I will always be grateful. I'm sorry.." I whispered "Where is my horse?"

"We couldn't find it. Most likely dead." informed the scout.

"I'm riding with you." I said, my eyes meeting with Levi's.

"(y/n) you need to rest."

"I don't care. And somebody bring me my cloak."

"Fine. You're in front, in case you pass out again." he grunted.

After I hopped onto Levi's horse, the scout handed me my cloak which I wrapped around my shoulders securely.

Not long after though, we saw red smoke signals.

"Again?" I grunted.

"Full speed all soldiers!" ordered Erwin.

An abnormal titan started chasing after us.

"I'll jump behind the bastard to destract him-" but before the scout could finish his sentence, Levi replied.

"Don't bother. We've got to get rid of the extra weight. Dump the bodies."

"B-But sir!"

"Do you know how many corpses we've already left behind? These aren't special. Dump them. Consider it their last service to the cause."

"Are we doing this?? We can't seriously be doing this!" shouted a scout who was protecting his friends' dead body from getting dumped.

Damn it..

"I'm sorry but there is no other way!" and by that, the scout dumped all the dead bodies from the carriage, with one of them being Petra. I glanced at Levi, noticing his faint scowl.

"Help me throw these two as well."

Are they talking about my squadmates?

"Don't you dare-"

"(y/n), please." Levi whispered.

I didn't say a word. I just looked at my two comrades getting dumped and then taken by a titan. Covering my head with my hood, I focused my gaze forward as if trying to hide my tear-stained face.

"We can't always carry our fallen comrades home. But we carry their memory." Levi murmured next to my ear as he wiped the tears away from the side of my face.

"I know.."

[ Time Skip ]

As soon as we entered the walls, people surrounded the area and started whispering to eachother while pointing their fingers at each one of us.

"Aren't there fewer than there were this morning?"

"Man.. far fewer..."

"Another disaster."

"What was the point?"

But there were also voices of hope.

"So cool! The Survey Corps are so awesome! They got the crap kicked out of them and they still fight!" exclaimed one child.

A saddened smile formed on my lips.

"Captain Levi! My daughter is in your squad.." a man followed us, glancing around for his said daughter. "I'm Petra's father."

Oh no..

"Before she sees me, I wanted to talk to you. She sent me this letter, she mentioned that you respected her abilities enough to let her join your squad. That she was going to devote herself to you. Well, I guess she's too starry-eyed to consider how her father feels!" he chuckled, however, Levi remained quiet. "Well, as her father, I think it's too early for her to marry."

Marry?

"Commander Erwin! Answer us! Did this expedition learn enough to justify the number of dead? Do you think the dead have no regrets?"

Everyone remained silent as they made their way towards the HQ.

 And so did I.