The Secrets We Keep - Taekai

the one with the fight

"You sure?" Jonghyun asked.

Kibum nodded, "Yeah of course I am. Taemin could probably use someone to talk to about whatever it is that just went down."

"Thanks Kibum - for being understanding about this all." Jonghyun said, smiling and pressing a kiss against Key's lips before turning and walking down the hallway.

Jonghyun walked into his and Taemin's shared room, finding Taemin sitting up in the corner of his bed - hugging his knees up close to his chest, forehead leaning against his knees.

"So you wanna talk about it?" Jonghyun asked, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Jonghyun was trying extremely hard to reserve judgement and not immediately jump to the conclusion that whatever fight they had had was a hundred percent Jongin's fault.

Taemin shrugged his shoulders, "Not really."

"Did Jongin do anything that I'm going to want to go kill him over? Did he hurt you? Did he pressure you? Was he too rough?"

"No."

"So what happened then?"

Taemin looked up at Jonghyun and sighed, "It's stupid really. I just - he hasn't said that he loves me yet and for some reason it got to me tonight."

Jonghyun nodded, turning to sit fully facing Taemin. "I get it. You know how long it took me to tell Kibum that I loved him? It took me close to a couple years I think. It's not that I didn't love him from the start, hell I probably loved Key quicker than he did me. But I just couldn't bring myself to say it."

"It's not just that though, Jjong. I'm tired of feeling like his dirty secret that he has to keep hidden away from the world. Only one of his bandmates knows about us and that's only cause Sehun was used by Jongin for a lie about where he was going and Sehun found out."

"You knows it's not just that simple though, Tae. As much as it sucks, truth is it would be a risk to all of our careers to come out and be public about our relationships."

It was the truth - as much as both Jonghyun and Taemin wished it wasn't. And deep down Taemin knew Jonghyun was right, but that didn't mean he didn't wish Jongin didn't care just as much though.

Hell even if Jongin had just said that he wanted to tell the world about them, it would have made a difference in how Taemin had reacted to Jongin's comment about them being each others dirty little secrets.

But with Jongin not seeming to even want to be open about them being together, as unlikely as it seemed to be an option for them, it stung when he made the comment that should have came off as a joke. But Jongin didn't even seem open to the idea at any point in their lives together, Taemin felt like a second thought - like he was just there out of convenience for Jongin.

Jonghyun sighed, "Taem - you can't let every little thing bothering you turn into a 'kick Jongin out' worthy event. I get that it's frustrating to put up with Jongin not wanting to be open about your all's relationship, but it's not worth it blowing up into a bigger than needed argument."

Taemin nodded, "I know - I just couldn't help it cause he didn't seem to get why I was upset about the fact that he doesn't even really want to spend a lot of time together if it means we have to spend our time in front of other people who aren't currently aware of us."

"Why won't he? I mean even if you all keep up the facade of just being friends, why can't you all just hang out in front of people? Like when you go to your parents house tomorrow, why can't Jongin go over and help you move in? Spend time over there?"