Industry • 6ix9ine

Chapter 30- I Hate You!

Dawn's Point Of View

*1 month later*

A whole month has gone by. A month since I've seen his eyes. A month since he's completely pushed me out of his life.

The way I'm sounding seems like all I've been doing is staring at the calendar but that's exactly what I've been doing. I've been crossing out the days, counting each day our baby has been growing. Our seemed like an insane word to use now that we were no longer. He claimed that we weren't actually done but he hasn't called me once to see how me or the baby was doing. And he won't return any of my calls, or text messages. It's almost like I was completely irrelevant and non-existent to him.

If it wasn't for my Mom and Clara I don't know how I would've made it through all of this. My mom offered to stay with me and when I told her I could take care of myself, but she refused to leave because she was so worried about me. Honestly I really did need her. But it was so hard explaining the whole situation to her, I was in such fear that she'd be disappointed in me. But she heard me out, and while she told me I should've never even entered this crazy twisted relationship, she understood how it is not being able to let go when you're in love.

My body was drained, every ounce of emotions have been poured out of me through everything I've went through this past month. I kept replaying the fight we had and cringed every time the I hate you part kept replaying. I wish I had never said it because it probably hurt him but then again, he's hurt me throughout this whole pregnancy so far.

I guess the biggest thing that's been bothering me is why he would do something like this. It made me reconsider everything. I wondered if it was all a lie, if he ever really was in love with me like he said he was. Because when you love someone, you don't leave when things become inconvenient. When things get rough you don't leave, you stay and work through it. But shit, maybe that's only for committed relationships. When you're not really even considered a thing, maybe it makes it that much easier just to pick up and leave even though I was so good to him.

He seemed to be doing just fine though, him and Jade posting cute pictures together every chance they get. I could be spiteful and bring their whole shit tumbling down, tell Jade everything, as mad as I was at him, and as much as I couldn't stand him right now I wouldn't go that low; because honestly, what if I deserve this anyway? Maybe this is what happens when you dig in someone else's trash, when you fuck another woman's man.

No matter all the shit he talked about how much he loved me, I was disposable to him, and I've finally been disposed.

This is why I reacted the way I did when I realized I caught feelings for him. This is why I damn near destroyed my whole house, because I was so angry at myself for not having better control over my feelings; because maybe somewhere inside I knew he'd do something like this. Maybe I knew he'd eventually hurt me, but I didn't think he would to this extent. I guess you can't put things pass certain people.

Literally dragging myself off the couch, I slowly walked upstairs toward my bedroom. My feet walked to the middle of the room, and when I saw the carebear he got me, laying on my bed I slid down the wall and began crying again. I put my face in my hands and continued sobbing until I couldn't cry anymore. He really left me, because for the first time I told him no. Because I refuse to kill my child. After everything I've done for him, he does me this dirty.

I felt pathetic sitting here, wearing his hoodie he gave me; when he probably wasn't even thinking about me. When he's at home cuddled up with his girlfriend and playing Daddy to her child. When he has one on the way, one that's actually his.

I tore the fabric off my body and took my anger out on it, ripping the neckline and watching the seams come out one by one. It was something that belonged to him and ripping it to shreds seemed like the only thing I could think of to get him out of my head.