Dating Frost Fajardo | Fin

Chapter 29

#DFF29

Just the usual day. Ganito parin ako. Mag-isa. Ni hindi niya nga man lang ako tinawagan. Bakit? Is he happy with Keira? Ayaw niya na ba sa'kin? Itatapon niya nalang ako?

"Don't be a cry baby, Zendrea." Saway ko sa sarili ko.

This fast few days. Napakalanta ko. I can say. Hindi ko mai-alis sa utak ko iyong nangyari. He just passed by, and didn't bother to look. Kahit saglit man lang. And it hurts me. Damn much.

Lately. Ang bisita ko si Zendro, minsan si Jayden at Aiden. Madalas si Rupert. He always do that. Iyong bisitahin at i-check ako kung na-take ko na ang mga medicines na dapat kong i-take or kung nakakain na ako. Rupert always care for me and to my baby. He always does.

While Frost? Anong ginagawa niya? Ayun, busy kay Keira. Hell. Bwisit. Kailangan ko siya pero nasaan siya?

"Busy ka?"

"Hindi. Kumain ka na?"

"Yes, Rupert?"

"Hm..."

"I know, this is too much to ask for. Pero pwede ban-----." No. Masiyado na akong nakakaabala.

"Zendrea,"

"Ah. Nevermind." I thanked him and after we bid goodbyes.

I sighed. Hindi ko na alam kung bakit ganito kami ni Frost. Hindi ko alam kung mahalaga pa ba ako sa kaniya. I want to talk to him and ask. If he cares and If we were important to him. Kasi kung hindi? Ayoko na. Ayoko na talaga. Nakakapagod na rin kasing ganito. Ayokong option lang ako.

It felt so wrong for me. Mali, dahil kung pina-prioritize ka ng tao? Gagawa siya ng paraan. Mali, dahil mali na paasahin at paghintayin ka sa wala.

I was about to went upstairs ng may mag doorbell.

Nasaan ba iyong maid ko? Oh shoot. I forgot. Nag-grocery pala ang katulong ko. Yes. Hindi pumayag si Zendro na mag-isa lang ako sa bahay since ilang buwan nalang at malapit na akong manganak.

"Zendrea." Halos hindi ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko. For how long didn't I see him? Gaano katagal akong naghintay at umasa na bibigyan niya ako kahit kakarampot na panahon when he was in Keira's side.

I was damn stupid kung hindi ko aamining nangulila ako sa kaniya. I miss him so much. Sobra-sobra. You have no idea kung gaano ako mabaliw ng hindi ko maramdaman ang presence niya.

No one speaking until we reached the living room. Tahimik lang ako at nakatitig sa kaniya. While him. He's looking in other direction.

I wanted to hug him, kiss him. Pero halos ayaw kumilos ng katawan ko. Parang mas gusto kong titigan na lang siya all the time. Parang kontento na ako. Alam ko, aalis rin siya maya-maya. Kaya mas gusto ko ng ganito nalang.

Ayoko ng manumbat. I was really happy na nandiyan siya. Kontento na ako. Just to know he's here.

"I'm sorry..." Alam ko masasaktan ako sa mga sasabihin niya. But it's okay. I'm okay. I was damn okay.

"Zendrea. You know it's hard for me. I'm sorry if I didn't call you, texted you. Damn. Sorry kasi sinaktan kita, for ignoring you on the hospital last time. Keira is getting worst. Please don't be mad."

I didn't speak. I was smiling. Ewan ko kung bakit ako nakangiti. I know. Mukha akong baliw, pero hindi ko rin alam sa sarili ko.

Was it because I'm too tired for understanding him? On our situation? Was I'm tired listening to his explanation. Or I'm just tired on all of this shit.

"Please, speak Zendrea. You're fucking scaring me." Nagulat ako ng nandito na siya sa tabi ko. He's shaking my shoulders.

"Zendrea... don't be like this. Fuck." Niyakap niya ako.

Para saan?

Hindi ko rin alam. Paulit-ulit siyang humihingi ng tawad. Saying how much he loves me.

"Stop crying, please. Zendrea." He wiped my tears.

Ako? Umiiyak? Bakit hindi ko nararamdaman? Ganito na ba ako kamanhid.

"Ayoko na," I said.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

I give him a small smile. "Pagod na ako Frost. Let's just end this."

"No."

"Yes, Frost. Tama na, pagod na pagod na ako kakaintindi at kakahintay. Nung kailan kita? Nasaan ka? You're not here, you're with Keira. I really was tired waiting and always understanding our freaking situation. I have my limits, Frost."

He was about to touch me but I stood up and shaked my head.

"Ayokong papiliin ka because I know. You can't choose."

"Zendrea." Seryoso siya. Pero mas seryoso ako.

Ayoko na. I'm so done with this. Masiyado na akong nagpakabaliw. This isn't me. This wasn't even me. Hindi ko na kilala si Zendrea. Ano bang ginawa mo sa'kin Frost Fajardo. Bakit ganito na ako?

"I am ending our so called relationship, Frost. We're totally over."

Masakit. Pero tama naman na. He give me so much pain. Hindi ko na kaya. I thought loving him is a right choice. But hell it wasn't. Iyong pinaglaban ko, namin. Will be ended here. May sisira at sisira parin ng relasyon namin. Ayoko na. Nakakapagod na.

Nakakapagod makipaglaban lalo na kung ikaw lang. It was stupidity. Lumaban ng mag-isa? It's really was.

I turn my back and started walking away.

"Why is it easy for you to give up on me, huh Zendrea? Damn answer me."

I stop and look at him once again. Kung masasaktan siya? Mas lalo naman ako.

"Because it's just a waste of time if I didn't. I wasn't easy but it's needed, Frost. I needed. Because if I didn't give up? I'll just kill myself holding and loving you."

And I'm so tired. For waiting, for understanding, listening. To everything. I really was.