Control The Game (COMPLETED)

Chapter 13

"So... three of our professors talked to Jax today," I began. I breathed deeply. I didn't want to do this... But sometimes, you do things even if you don't want to... simply because you need to. "I know... I know you just lost your parents, and I'd never understand the pain you're in—"

She cut me off. "Right. So, don't talk about them."

My lips parted. It saddened me to watch her like this. I missed the old her—iyong iniirapan ako tuwing makikita niya na kinakausap ko si Jax. I'd rather have that than this... empty shell in front of me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "But... but Jax will get kicked out if this continues. He's in his third year in law school, Katherine. This is the hardest year. And you're not making it any easier for him. I'm sorry. I know nakikielam ako... but I'd seen him right from the beginning. He's very smart... pero pagdating sa 'yo, natatanga siya."

Her eyes watered. I knew she knew that I was right... I didn't want to do this... Pero kung walang magsasabi, ano'ng mangyayari? Sabay naming papanoorin na mauwi sa wala lahat ng pinaghirapan nila?

"Please make him stop prioritizing you... unless you want to see him throw away everything he's worked hard for. Again, alam kong nakikielam ako... I don't want to do this, but I also don't want to see him waste everything. And with the rate things are going—with how badly he's reciting, his flunked quizzes, and his exam scores? He wouldn't proceed to fourth year. He'd get kicked out."

I took a step back. I'd be a bitch for this... But I promised that I always got his back... And this was what it meant.

"Think about it. I know you love him as much as he loves you. I trust you to do the right thing," I said before I started to walk away. Ramdam ko iyong lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Alam ko na magagalit silang lahat sa akin... pero mas gusto ko na 'yun kaysa hayaan sila na itapon lahat ng pinaghirapan nila.

I didn't care if I'd look like the villain—as long as I know that I took care of them to the best that I could.

Diretso akong naglakad nang bigla akong mapa-hinto nang makita ko kung sino ang naka-rinig sa usapan namin. I turned on the opposite direction, but he was still following me.

His jaw clenched again. "Cha, kakamatay lang ng magulang nung tao! Konting puso naman d'yan!" sigaw niya sa akin na para bang hindi ko naiintindihan 'yun. Alam ko naman. Alam ko na ang sama ko sa paningin niya dahil lang iniisip ko iyong kapakanan ni Jax... But the Katherine I knew? She wouldn't let this happen. We weren't friends but I knew she loves Jax so much that she wouldn't like what was happening... Him throwing away everything just like that.

"Tapos ka na?" tanong kong muli sa kanya. Hindi siya sumagot. Tumalikod ako at nagsimulang maglakad palayo.

"San ka pupunta?" tanong niya habang naka-sunod sa akin.

Hindi ako nagsalita. Ano pang silbi ng pakikipag-usap ko sa kanya kung hindi naman pala niya ako iintindihin?

"Cha!" he called.

I went inside the prayer room, thinking that he'd stop following me, but I was wrong. He followed me inside. I closed my eyes and uttered a prayer, but I could still feel him standing beside me. I was praying that he'd leave me alone. I didn't want to argue with him. I didn't have time for that. I had a lot on my plate already.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Just leave," I replied.

He sat beside me. We were both looking at the crucifix in front of us. I just wanted him to leave. I didn't have the energy to explain myself to him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I was out of line."

Hindi ako nagsalita.

"I know you're worried about Jax... Pero nag-aalala lang din naman siya kay Kitty... Have you seen her? She... She looks different. Hindi ko na maka-usap minsan."

I continued to stare in front of me.

"Siguro iniisip mo na lagi kong kinakampihan si Kitty, no?" he asked. "Naiintindihan naman kita, Cha... Pero mas naiintindihan ko siya... Alam ko kasi 'yung pinagdadaanan niya..."

He paused.

For a second.

I was tempted to look at him, but I held my gaze.

"Nung second year high school ako, nalaman namin na may cancer 'yung Mama ko... Pero ayun nga, namatay din siya... Nung una akala namin okay na, pero traydor, e. Biglang bumalik. Tapos mas malala."

He laughed. A little. Paano niya nagagawa 'yun?

"Alam mo 'yung may iba-ibang coping mechanism ang bawat tao? 'Yung sa tatay ko, naadik sa casino. Ayun... nawala lahat. Bahay, sasakyan, ipon... Tapos na-depress siya lalo kasi... Wala na lahat, e. Ano na lang ba natira sa kanya? Ako na lang."

I looked at him.

"Kaso... hindi ako sapat, e. Isang hapon, pag-uwi ko, wala na siya... Nag-iwan lang siya ng sulat. Maigsi lang 'yun. Sabi niya lang sorry kasi 'di niya na kaya. Miss na miss niya na raw si Mama."

He faced me. There was tear in his eyes... Isa lang 'yun... But I wasn't used to seeing him like this. Mas gusto ko iyong naka-ngiti siya. Hindi ganito. Hindi ako sanay.

"Grumaduate ako ng high school mag-isa lang akong umakyat sa stage. Dapat nga 'di na ko aattend, e... Pero naalala ko bilin ni Mama umattend ako," he said. He quickly wiped away the tear like he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that as much as he tried to downplay his parents' death, he's still affected...

"Kaya sorry, Cha... Kasi nung kakamatay lang nila, akala ko mababaliw ako. Buong buhay kasama ko sila tapos biglang wala. Iniwan ako," he said, looking at me, smiling. "Kaya kakampihan ko muna si Katherine kasi alam ko 'yung nararamdaman niya."