Trapped in My Mind (Mind Experiment AU)

Between then and Now

As Thomas got older, my powers became easier to control, and the "light sides" hated me more. That's what they were called, Logan who was Logic, Patton who was Morality, and Roman, my savior, who was creativity. They felt like I made Thomas worry too much, especially Roman. So I stayed in the darkness of my room, only coming out when things were wrong, or to hang out with Remy. Remy has explained to me his balance between light and dark. He told me that because he could sometimes coax Thomas to sleep when he needed it, and remind him to slow down or take a break he was good. However, because he could also keep Thomas up and drain him of energy when he needed it most, he was also bad

"You could be a balance too" He had pointed out to me one day. "You look out for Thomas by expressing concern for his emotion and physical safety and they would accept that as good."

"Pfff" I had said rolling my eyes as I drank the coffee he had brought me. "They wouldn't trust me father than Patton could throw me" Remy laughed a little and sighed.

"You won't know until you try" he reminded me. These kinds of conversations happened often between the two of us. And every time I was alone again, Deceit or Remus would point out the reasons he was wrong, and I would believe them. This cycle happened for many many years. Until the lights forgot I existed completely. Then when Thomas was about 28, he started a new series on YouTube, he called it Sander Sides. And that's when I finally took Remy's advice. I didn't act right away of course, in the first video he introduced Roman and Patton and Logan to the camera/audience and I watched as I smiled. Remy was with me and he went over some ways I could hide my past if I wanted to, which I did. I appeared to be sarcastic but caring so that they all thought I was good and had never been tied to the dark sides. Then during his second video I appeared, and ended up surprising Thomas and annoying Roman.

"Sup" I said as I did a single wave to Thomas.

"Oh jeez I can't stand this guy" Roman grumbled.

"You're just jealous because I just came from a My Chemical Romance concert" I teased as I glared at him and crossed my arms. "We continued to have an argument about Disney movies until Roman realized that I hadn't said he was wrong, and for the first time I saw him guilty.

"You....weren't trying to trash Disney movies?"

"No. I was just pointing out the fact that Disney does have darker undertones in them." I said and he looked down

"Oh.....well I guess I can give some points to you, you did bring up some interesting topics." I smirked at that as I held my head up and started to sink out as Roman mumbled that he still didn't like me under his breath, which he thought I didn't hear. I didn't care though. He had always hated me. When I was back in the mindspace, Logan was actually the first one to greet me.

"Remy told me to look out for your arrival. He had informed me that you were coming, and that the others do not know about your past." I had been surprised that Logan knew where I was from but didn't seem to care. "I'm sure you are aware of this, but my name is Logan, I'm Thomas's Logical side and Remy's "counterpart" as you might call it." He said as he adjusted his glasses I pulled my hood up a little and looked at him, getting a little shy.

"I-I'm Anxiety" I said softly, too scared to give his real name. Logan nodded.

"Well it's nice to make your acquaintance. Come on. I'll show you the room I've made for you" he then turned and started to walk to I followed him curiously. Each hall was almost dedicated to one of the three sides. Romans was red and filled with theater things and lots of beautiful artwork, Patton's was light blue and had rainbows and puppies and kitties and such littering the walls. And then Logan's was a dark blue and there was a door to a library and a study and there were some quotes from smart people on the wall but that was about it. Finally when we reached my hall it was a beautiful deep purple and there were decorations of spiders and storm clouds and monsters along the walls. One door read panic room, another bedroom and a final said music room.

"Woah....you did this....for me?"

"Well Remy helped but yes. You deserve to be happy here. And comfortable. So I hope this will suffice."

"It definitely will. Thanks." I said smiling and Logan nodded once.

"Well I'll be in my room. You are welcome to explore or just adventure into your hallway. Welcome to being balanced." Logan said before disappearing. I quickly walked into the hallway and into my room as I sighed happily and closed the door. He didn't seem to hate me, and Roman and Patton didn't seem to know where I was from. I'm free, I thought, I can finally be like Remy.

"Can you though?" A voice asked in a bored tone from the corner. I jumped and looked up to see Deceit. "What are you going to do if Roman remembers you, or if Patton finds out? Or maybe Logan will just decide to tell Thomas, I mean it won't affect him in any way" I rolled my eyes and walked to my bed.

"Go away D. You've just wanted to use me. You've never actually cared about me." I mumbled as I turned away from him.

"That's not true I-"

"Yes it is. I remember what Remus said when I was born"

"What he said doesn't matter"

"Oh really? So you didn't want me to become spiteful so I would tap into my true darkness and break Thomas so you could take control?" Deceit sighed and walked toward me

"That's what Remus wanted"

"And you were helping him." I mumbled. "Just let it go D. What's done is done and they won't betray me or use me." I said closing my eyes. I heard his sigh before he was gone and I curled up into a small ball as I took deep breaths. I was okay. Things were just fine. Everything would be okay