Since the songs are all by Kay Cook I wanted to use the song titles as the story title. Unfortunately that would be way to long so instead I used her name. The five books thing is true each song has it's own "book" but they're all connected in one s...
Once Grayson had left I felt weird and more confused. Even though I had tried to explain my feelings for Ethan he had just brushed it off like it was nothing I mean it was nothing he didn't know but I just felt less confused about things.
I confirmed that I did have feelings for Ethan though they started off as feelings for Grayson they turned into feelings for him so I did actually like Ethan not just for his resemblance to Grayson. He was kind and let me take my time he was willing to wait for me if only I had taken more time this might not have happened and I may love him instead of his brother.
If I had taken more time I would be in love with Ethan right now and I wouldn't have told Grayson I loved him cause I would be in love with Ethan instead. In that case, Ethan and I would still be dating and Grayson would be with some other girl. As I thought about this alternative situation I'm painfully reminded of my current situation in which I'm in love with Grayson, not Ethan and I'm struggling to identify what I feel for Ethan.
He was such a great guy to me I really didn't deserve him. I still don't he was such a good boyfriend I hope one day he can move on and find someone who deserves him and treats him the way I didn't. Hoping right now wasn't what I should be doing I needed a plan a way of attacking these emotions to get rid of them then it hits me all I have to do is tell Ethan how I feel so that I get it off my chest then I can move on.
If I explain my emotions to him and my actions behind them maybe then I can move and be with Grayson happily like I'm supposed to. Maybe Ethan can do the same let out all his emotions to me and then he can let go and move on maybe even go back into the dating world but I don't want to push him or myself so I get myself ready.
First I mental preparer myself by practicing what I want to say and how I want to say it. Then I had to figure out how to talk to him. I could face time him! I pick up my phone and hit the facetime button to my surprise he answers.
"Hey Ethan" I say holding up my phone so that we could see my face "what is it Holly?" he asks obviously annoyed "I just wanted to get somethings off my chest" I explain placing my phone on my windowsill so I wouldn't have to hold it he rolls his eyes
"didn't you do that at the fair?" he asks I shake my head "not everything" I say plainly "I guess you won't stop harassing me if I don't let you" he says sigh angrily I nod "right when as you know I couldn't choose between you and Grayson but I wasn't sure why. When I saw you at the fair that really triggered the emotions I was feeling for you but I didn't understand those feelings. At first, I thought they were just for Grayson like you said but then I realized that I actually like you and that I needed to tell you to get it off my chest. I can't be happy with Grayson when I have feelings for you" I explain he rolls his eyes again
"is that it?" he asks I nod "well Holly you've done it again! I'm trying to move on but you keep discovering new things and new feelings every other day and I'm done! Okay, I'm done after I end this call I'm going to block your number, snap, and Instagram cause I don't need toxic people in my life right now! I've found someone whom I can love and who will love me back the way I deserve" he says frustrated
"wait you found someone?" I ask he sighs angrily "honestly Holly you only hear what you want! Did you listen to anything I said?" he asks angrily I nod "I did and I want to stay friends with you so please don't block me" I beg he sighs "for now I need to but maybe one day I can unblock you and we can be friends but for now that's what I need to do" he tells me I nod and he hangs up.
I let out a frustrated sigh though that didn't go as I had hoped I was glad to get my emotions out to him even if you flipped out. Yet I couldn't help feeling upset that he was going to block me and just like that I found myself crying yet again.
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