conquer// 5SOS

21

Unfortunately for Freya, shortly after Luke had left she had thrown up. Ashton held her hair back, trying to soothe the girl and her guts came up. This had happened in the last withdrawal, he was just surprised it hadn't happened sooner.

"You're okay,"

"My tummy," she whimpered, leaning back into his body. He wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, deciding the pair should stay in the bathroom to cool off.

"That should hopefully be it, sit up for me,"

Instead, she leant against the bath, clutching her stomach.

"I fucking hate life,"

"Well that's not something we want to hear, all because you've thrown up?"

"Because everything has been shitty. My family doesn't even want to see me, my new home ruined everything, and now I'm here again, throwing up in the toilet,"

Freya was in tears, her nose snotty and her words slurred. It had caught up to her.

"I was so excited for my future and it's shit. What is the point, no one wants to know me. I can't even instagram model because I look like a damn potato,"

"You do not look like a potato,"

"What is the point?"

"We will talk once you've calmed down. There's so much to look forward to,"

"Oh cut the sympathy, I know I'm a mess,"

"Fine," he said, "You need to get off your ass and put a level head on. You decide what scares you, you decide your actions, you decide what can upset it. If you don't want patience, then I'm not giving patience. This time, I've got to be blunt, because this isn't a situation to mess about with. You can't stay here forever, what good will you achieve in here? So you're going to pull yourself together, come on a walk and find yourself again,"

She couldn't help but laugh. This was the Ashton she knew. It sounded psychotic- perhaps it wasn't a psycho ward as she'd said, but she definitely felt crazy and irrational.

"I'm so open to talking about what you've been through, but once we've worked through it we shouldn't let it define us. You have the power to make better memories with Luke, and new friends at university, and even Michael,"

"My tummy hurts,"

"I know, let's get some fresh air,"

"I think I can deal with most of the things that happened. I was just ignored a lot, and that happened at home anyway. The biggest thing for me is that she changed my medicine, and told me I needed to lose weight,"

Freya took Ashton's hand tightly, her other on her stomach. She thought she may topple over any moment.

"I don't think Luke really had the time to think about calling you beautiful, but I know he thinks that. You don't need to lose weight, or change how you look, because you're growing into a wonderful young lady, okay?"

"Thankyou,"

"I think perhaps the clothes you have aren't helping. Leggings and a hoodie don't make you feel the most glamorous,"

"When I get a job, I could buy more,"

"You want one?"

"Yeah. It might help -along with school- just to make sure I'm not so defiant,"

He chuckled quietly, sitting on a bench by the fountain. Over the past day, he'd seen a slightly different Freya who was definitely more determined and outgoing. It felt to him like she'd found who she wanted to be.

"You'll have to listen to your boss,"

"I know. What job should I get?"

"Something that works round uni, you could work in a bookshop,"

"How do I get a job?"

"Here's what I suggest. Go to uni, and find something like yoga. Any activity really, but I think yoga would help you,"

"Why do I need to do that for a job?"

"You have to write a cv, and statements. Your exam results were actually pretty good, but you have nothing unique on there. You need a hobby, or an interest,"

"Will a bookshop care?"

"Maybe not, but it's worth getting the practice in,"

"Please can I go back to bed?"

"Just sit back a moment and enjoy the fresh air,"

She rested on his side and shut her eyes, slowly taking deep breaths until she got too uncomfortable and sat up.

"Come on," he said, leading her back inside. He got her a small pack of biscuits from the vending machine to settle her stomach. Then, they went back to the room and met Luke again.

"She's feeling a bit icky, and threw up earlier,"

"I'm such a pathetic adult,"

"Hey, if you are sick or need help then that's what you need," Luke said, pulling her into his arms.

"I want to go to sleep,"

"I think you deserve that rest. Michael will talk to you later- please go into it openly,"