Chapter Forty-Five

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Alina

"I can't stay here," I repeated.  I was in a turmoil, stuck between the desire of my own heart and the rationale of my mind. I knew I wasn't needed here and that my presence could ruin so many lives.

James chose love over his mate bond. He got his chance and he made his decision. A decision that wrecked four lives. His own, mine, Hailey and her mate. Just one decision, a few minutes and everything went crashing down. My dreams of having a mate and living a happy life shattered right in front of my own eyes. 

I lost a part of myself. The feeling of my own another half, my soul mate, not loving me back left an irreparable scar.
I couldn't have lingered around after the rejection. My own brother wanted to punish me for a crime I didn't commit. No one trusted me or needed me.

On the other hand, if it wasn't for those same old predicaments, I wouldn't have found Luke, Neil, Ron and all the friends that I had made in the Red Blood pack. They have made me feel more welcomed than my own family. I couldn't ditch them for the sake of my past.

"I know it's a lot to ask from you, but he is your mate." Drake reasoned. "If something happens to him, you'll be devastated."

"Devastated?" I laughed dryly, "He left me devastated the very first day he ever saw me."

"I have tried my level best to drill some sense into him—" He groaned, "–many times. He was just too stubborn. He couldn't weigh his decisions and ended up making a bad choice."

I listened to Drake, processing each and every word he said.

I was hesitant to accept that James had made a wrong selection. I guess I was too bitter for everything he had done to me. He created havoc in our lives and left a never-ending trail of uncertainty.

I was scared, afraid of what was ahead to come. I couldn't get the look he had on his face when he saw me at the Graveyard of Doom, out of my mind. It kept strumming inside my head. The way his honey brown eyes had softened and glistened before they turned neutral. It felt like he was yearning for me but after hearing what Drake had to stay, I wasn't sure.

"Alina, you need to make your decision." Drake brought me out of my trance of thoughts. 

"I know." I sighed, "I just don't want to ruin his already settled life."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You are not ruining his life. Your presence can actually save his life. You know it too."

I shook my head. "I can't just come back and pretend like nothing ever happened. If it was only between James and I then it would have been different. Hailey is involved equally in this. This is not fair on her."

I felt like yelling. My own wolf was howling in pain as I sat there, stuck in a dilemma.

"Let's be Frank, Alina." Drake squinted his eyes. "No matter how much Hailey loves James, she can actually do no shit to help him recover. You and I both know that."

I nodded.

"If anything happens to James, your wolf would disappear cause he is your mate. You can't deny that. You would either die or become a human."

I knew he was right. The pull of the mate bond was almost impossible to resist. The constant howling of the inner wolf not only drained the strength but also killed the werewolf slowly, one day at a time.

But James had managed to resist the pull.

"If you are thinking about how James resisted your mate bond, let me tell you. He never accepted the rejection." Drake said almost reading my thoughts.

My heart clenched at his words. The familiar pain returned as I sat there trying to calm my nerves.

"Please, Alina. We can't afford to lose James. The attacks have increased recently and without him, we won't be able to survive for long."

"I understand what you are saying, but I can't leave my pack house like that!" I exclaimed soon after.

I was yet to find Luke and I couldn't leave Neil alone like that to run the pack by himself. He already had a lot on his plate, starting from his pregnant mate to finding Luke and performing the duties of a Beta.

"You can mind link your friends and pack members." He said giving me a 'duh' look.

"How are you going to explain my sudden appearance to your pack and especially Hailey?" I asked.

"We'll figure it out."

■ ■ ■

It has been forty-eight hours.

I sat on the bed beside James. He laid there with his torso bandaged and bare. He still hadn't regained his consciousness, and my wolf wanted to cling to him just to assure his safety.

His parents and Hailey came over multiple times to visit him. His mother cried every single time she saw him, whereas his father comforted her by whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Hailey, on the other hand, had a pained expression on her face. They were too caught up in their emotions that they did not even question my presence or who I even was. I could see them in pain and felt the pang of guilt.

It was all my fault.

He took a bullet for me.

I cursed him for being so stupid. He was an Alpha and he had tons of responsibilities. He should never go around taking bullets for others. Especially those who he doesn't even know properly.

We are his mate. — My wolf registered soon after listening to my thoughts.

The faint pain in my chest remained as I scanned his appearance. He looked so vulnerable and innocent as he laid there with his eyes closed. His lips were slightly parted and his breathing was steady and slow.

A part of me wanted to kiss him. I felt a sudden urge to be with him. It didn't take long for me to realise the lengths I could go through just to see his honey brown eyes again.

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