A Love To Fear || Jimin FF [18+]

1.1| Alive

Park Jimin POV
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NOTE: Hello readers! I'm so happy and thankful to see this story gained over 200K reads! Thats why I decided to make this special series for you guys~ its not a continuation, but Jimin POV'S that takes place in different time zones. So this is the first part, and there will be more! Have Fun!

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Year 2014

I took a deep breath. This moment always made me feel nervous. The moment right before I had to go on stage. No matter how many times I had performed, it was something I would never stop fearing. The fear of failing, of disappointing thousands of fans, I always wanted to give my all. But it never felt good enough. I wonder... why do we always desperately seek for perfection, when we know it doesn't exist?

"Jiminah, are you alright?"

Namjoon asked as he held my shoulder.

"Just a little nervous"

"Ah you'll do well Jimin!"

We did our last check ups and waited till the floor would go up and reach the stage. I listened to all the screams from the fans. It always helped me to calm my nerves.

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I laid down in my bed. The room was so quiet, but I could still hear their loud voices in my head.

Armys... we mean so much to them. But would they still care for us, if they knew what was beyond our perfect image? We fake our perfection for the sake of gaining popularity, how much more fake can a bond be, than the one between an artist and their fan? We know nothing about them and they know nothing about us.

I grabbed my phone and called Yoona.

"Jimin... you finally called"

"Did you do what I asked?"

"Jimin... I tried, but I just couldn't lie to my boss!"

"Oh I see'

"You won't take back the money right?? I really need-"

I hang up on her and threw my phone next to me.

I started to beat up my own girlfriend, trying to play with her emotions and feelings. Somehow it was the only way I could finally feel something. But it still didn't satisfy me enough... maybe it was because I didn't care enough about her. Even though she is my girlfriend... no one made me feel real love. Ever since I killed my mom, I haven't loved any girl, like I loved her.

No woman is worthy of my love, except my mom.

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Yoona threw herself in my arms as she was smiling.

"I fucking hate it how much I miss you!"

"Well get used to it because my schedule is only getting tighter"

"Oppa!! Don't be so mean!"

She pushed her lips on mine and looked at me.

"So how is your work?"