Personal Body Guard - (Shawn Mendes)

83

"And i will remember you
I will remember you
I will remember you
The way you are right now
The way you are right now"

-

*Emily's Point Of View*

I paced back and forth. back and forth. back and forth. I didn't know if I wanted to read the letter or not. I wanted to read it, but now?

This was the last thing I was ever going to get from him. Did I want to waste the split moment of happiness right now when I could use it when I was in desperate need to hear from him.

But what better time then now Emily?

I nodded to myself coming to the decision that Is as going to read it right now.

If I didn't I would be up all night knowing the last type of contact from Shawn was sitting in the same room as me unread.

I shakily picked up the piece of paper, glancing down to see the page filled to the brim. It reminded of me when I was writing him my letter. I could've written more then one page. Hell, I could've written twenty.

I shut my eyes before taking a deep breath letting it exhale soon after.

You can do this.

I looked down and began reading;

Hey Em,

A sob instantly exhaled out of my mouth as I looked up. Maybe I couldn't do this. I was two words in and I was already a crying mess.

I took in another deep breath, wiping my wet eyes before looking down to continue reading.

I wasn't sure whether to write baby or Em. I know how much you loved when I called you baby or babe. But I know how much more you loved when I called you Em.
God this is fucked. Absolutely fucked.
I'm sitting in some facility centre for the government and it smells like shit if I'm honest.

A laugh fell out. Of course he would put that in a heartfelt letter.

Em. Baby. Babe. I'm going to miss you so fucking much.

And here come the water works.

You mean everything to me. Every single part of my heart and soul aches writing this but deep down I think we both knew this was going to happen. We were both so damn caught up in each other we didn't even realise how massive of a risk this was. Bigger than we could've imagined.
Em I was so in love with you it's unexplainable of how deep I fell for you.
Maybe it was your laugh, god that giggle that you have is music to my fucking ears. Or when I tickle you so hard that you unleash your even more adorable laugh.
Maybe it was your eyes, those beautiful damn blue ocean eyes that I could get lost in for an eternity.
Or your smile. Seeing your smile made my day and I knew my job was successful in making you happy.
I could've been your hair, your voice or your personality. It was probably all of them because whatever it was it made me fall pretty damn hard.
I knew we started off rough. I put up this persona that wasn't me at all. And I put you through so much shit but for some reason you pushed through it and saw the best in me.
That's when I knew that you were in it for the long run. Like this girl just pushed aside everything I did and still wants me to kiss her. Okay? Okay.
We had a lot of good memories didn't we?
I think my favourite was when you met my parents. Seeing my mom interact with you was the best feeling ever. She literally loved you by the way. So did my dad. And don't even get me started on Aaliyah. She's now classified you as her best friend.
I don't know what's going to happen after this Em.
I really don't.
The worst part of this all is that I know I promised you a lot. I promised you I would be there for you when you were upset and now here we are not knowing where one another is, both hurting. I promised you so much and It breaks my heart that I let you down.
I want to tell you that I promise I'll come back and I promise we will see each other soon because I don't know if we will.
I know you're going to hate me but I want you to find someone who made you as happy as I did. As loved as I did. As cared about and appreciated as I did. Someone who will treat you like a princess and drop everything for you.
I love you so much Emily Rose. So fucking much.
They have this saying; if you love someone, let them go. I want you happy Emily. So I'm letting you go. Be happy. Find someone who will treat you better than I did. Because if he doesn't than they'll have hell to deal with.

But I do want to thank you for breaking down my walls and letting me love you.
Because loving you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I love you. With all my heart.

- Shawn x

I broke down in tears, my body crumbling to the floor as I gripped the letter tightly in my hand.

I reached for my phone, scrolling furiously through my contact until I landed on Shawn's contact. Instantly pressing the green call button.

My heart instantly broke into two pieces as I heard the self-automated voice speak on the other side of the phone.

'The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected'

I repeatedly pressed the red end call button as I choked out sobs. This can't be happening. I can't loose him.

I clicked into the Snapchat application instantly typing in Shawn's username in a desperate speck of hope that they hadn't gotten to his Snapchat yet.

My hope faltered as his name didn't come up on my phone.

I screamed throwing my phone against my bed furiously as I put my head into my hands.

"Emily?" I heard a familiar voice say from the opposite side of my closed door making my head shoot up.

-

A/N: I'm so sorry for making all of y'all cry cos that seems to be a large majority of the comments ;)