An Italian's Escort Lover (IRS Book 2)

Chapter 40

Phoebe Point of View

Tears and smile... they are like two sides of one coin. Sometimes it is pretty confusing as to why you tear up when you are happy and smile when you are melancholic.

There is something wrong with both these words. How come I am smiling when I am telling my side of the sad story? I should be crying eye full but then again, I had cried and experienced so much pain already and maybe that's why even I seem wry about the whole situation.

The amount of grief I saw in Nicco's eyes for me was enough to say how much he cares for me. When he gave me the paper slip of websites, that moment, I was relatively shocked to see how much attention he really pays to me despite of being in the company of a beautiful girl.

He touched my heart when he provided the solution, which caused me to cry in the first place. No words, no eye contact, no gestures; still he read me like an open book. It was as if he can interpret me in any condition no matter what.

But his grandmother was totally a different case. I still don't understand what to take her reaction for. She was a very kind woman but she is also who doesn't express her inner thoughts on her face. Her eyes did tell me that she empathetic towards me and that she was following what I'm saying but on the other hand, her expressionless face is terrifying too.

Am I doing the right thing by confessing my feelings?

"Ah, what a good life! She was saved from the escort house and was loved by the Prince Charming who can do anything for me. Really a good turn of life; to the people who sees it from afar. But for her, it was a good life which was eating her alive. The Prince charming part was absolutely true but the damsel in distress dared to fall in love with the person who kindly saved her. If she lacked something, she should at least have some other quality to compensate it with, but she had nothing prominent. She had no family to take support from, she had no good background to feel good about, she had no enough education to live, she had no money to survive. The only thing she had was a heart which felt deeply for him. But what is the use of it?" I said noticing Nicco shaking his head. Contradicting whatever I said. But I did not let him talk in the middle.

It is my time to talk. My time to tell everything I felt and feeling currently. Why I am the way I am right now. I want to explain myself why I restrain myself around him.

"Love happened between the both not so easily. They had to go through many trials and obstacle to learn how to love each other. For few years, they were together, exploring about each other and loving each other a little more than the previous day. But she didn't feel great despite having the love and affection. She felt as if she was being the reason for his disgrace. At his prime age and with well established career, he should be marry someone who holds her head high with pride and respect, and have babies. The issue that she was being an obstacle in her savior's life to achieve family and support killed her."

Nicco's eyes widened at the confession. Though he a small idea of how I tried to set him up with other women, he had no idea how much I tried for it.

Mrs. Clara's eyes were moist and her expression softened at what I said while Mrs. Jones was in tears already. I know they may not understand how I felt completely but I just want to make sure that I was heard.

I want to be heard!

"So she started pushing him towards the women who are from good family and can keep him happy. With her, he was always on guard and very protective. He felt the extreme need to protect her and take care of her but in the process; he forgot he needs the same care and protectiveness in return which the girl couldn't give. And the least she could do to the one whom she loves so much is to give him a well deserved life. And so she started instigating his attention to other women who are capable enough to provide him with the care. There was nothing more painful in the world than sending the person you love into the arms of another woman. It was simply a slow poison but she had to endure it and achieve before her contract with the escort house ends." A hiccup left my mouth when the tremendous amount of piled up hidden emotions kicked out all at once.