WASTE • Carl Grimes

Thirteen

He nods at me.

" yeah, they're close " he says and I nod, still not looking at him.

Song: Sweater Weather- The neighborhood

" did you pa- "

" come with me, Luna " he cuts me off, his eye no longer on the can in his hands but on me, watching as i sigh and look up from my own can, shaking my head with a small smile playing on my lips.

" I cant " I reply and he puts his can down before leaning closer to me on his seat next to my own.

" why not? " he wonders and I mimic his actions by placing my can down on the ground beside me before diverting all my attention to him.

" because I've been out here my whole life, I can't just leave " I try to explain why I cant go with him, but still, he fails to understand where I'm coming from and shakes his head at me, his eyebrows drawn together in what seems to be a mixture of irritation and confusion.

" Luna you'll have a home, you won't be alone, everyone there will protect you. Why the hell do you insist on staying alone? " he asks, solely curious as to why I wouldn't take such a perfect and delightful opportunity.

" and why do you always think I need protection? I've been out here almost my whole life, and you're asking me to go somewhere filled with people I don't kn- " once again, I'm cut off by Carl Grimes.

" you will get to know them! You will like them and they'll all like you! That's the point of it all, Luna! " his voice is now louder than it has ever been, and my blood starts to boil at the fact that he still doesn't get it.

That's it.

" the point is, I've been out here for the longest of time! The point is I am now used to being alone and living in the woods! The point is i cannot just leave that behind me and go back with you to a bunch of people whom I've never met before! The fucking point is that you're the first person I've ever talked to and interacted with in years! So why the hell cant you understand that I can't trust them!? "

I'm now yelling, fuming, standing on my feet as Carl mimics my actions, his face red while his body towers my own.

Our anger radiating off of each other.

" I'm asking you to come with me! Leave with me! Stay with me, not them! You'll have to eventually interact with other people, how the fuck is that going to make any difference!? These people are my family! I trust them and You trust me L- " i stop him mid sentence by putting my index finger between the both of us, my eyebrows furiously knitted together, mirroring the boy's, before I spoke up.

" how are you so sure that I trust you? " I question and he raises both of his eyebrows up at me.

" you wouldn't have let me stay with you this long if you didn't trust me, you wouldn't have let me teach you how to use a gun " he replies, and I remain silent, not knowing what to say to deny his accusation, to which I am now only admitting myself to be true.

I really wouldn't have done any of the things I did if I didn't trust him.

" so what if I do? Just because I trust you then I have to go with you? " i ask, my hands resting on my waist as I await his answer.

Carl narrows his eye at me, his lips slightly parted as he lightly shakes his head at me.

" I want you to be safe, Luna. How the hell am I going to know whether you're okay or not if you don't go with me? " he's calmer now, his words soften at the mention of my safety and I cant believe it when I feel myself soften as well, my eyes stinging for the first time in years at the boy's words, but not a single tear falls out of my eyes.

I gulp as i keep my eyes on his blue one, unsure of what to say now that I know why he wants me to go.

" I cant go " my words come out slow and weak now, but Carl shakes his head again.

" you say that like you don't have a choice " he chuckles humorlessly.

" because I don't, Carl! " I snap once again.

" really!? Oh yeah!? What the hell is it that's keeping you from going with me!? A sibling!? A parent!? " he snaps back.

" don't you dare go there! " I yell.

" go where, Luna!? You're alone! There's no one stopping you but yourself! You're stop- "

" stop! Shut the fuck up! The only thing stopping me is whatever is left of my fucking humanity! The only reason your ass is still alive right now is because I was in the woods! Alone! " I cut him off and explode again, letting everything out on the boy standing ahead of me, anger flashing in his blue eye as he shakes his head at me, as if smoke were coming out of his ears.

We stare at each other for a few minutes, our chests heaving in anger at one another, neither of us believing what the other had just said.

He used my dead family against me and I used his life against him.

We're both wrong, but neither of us was going to admit it.

" I live like this! This is where I belong! I cant just walk into your community and try to become a part of it! Your people won't trust me! I won't trust them! It won't work! " I add.

" only because you don't want it to. Because you're selfish. You were with me when my girlfriend who was all I had was killed and you helped me get over her death. Do you think i can just thank you and leave without giving a shit!? You are the closest thing to a best friend that I've ever had, Luna! " he goes on, but all I do is take a deep breath in, my eyes trailed on him as they start to sting more and more by the second.

Carl picks his backpack up from the ground and throws it over his shoulder before looking back down at me again.

Deep inside within me, I'm begging myself to stop him from leaving, I'm begging myself to fix this so that he can at least leave me on good terms, but I couldn't do it.

Instead, I stayed still, lips shut and eyes on him as I cross my arms over my chest, unable to make a single move.

He looks at me for a few seconds, opening his mouth to say something but immediately closing it again.

" so that's it? You leave just like that? And I'm the selfish one, right? " I let out a humorless chuckle and shake my head.

" I don't give a fuck anymore, do whatever the hell you want " he harshly replies.

" shut the door behind you, and don't you dare come looking for me " I spit, anger dancing within me as I watch him place his hand on the door handle.

He takes his knife out.

" enjoy the fucking woods "

That was the last thing Carl Grimes said to me before he looked at me one last time and stabbed his way out of the house, shutting the door behind him.

And there I was, in a house, alone, as a single tear slipped out of my eye.