Sincerely Devoted (SasuNaru)

Sacrifices from love

3:11PM

"Hey." Someone tapped my shoulder, distracting me from my self destructive thoughts. I turned around to see Kiba, angry looking. He snatched my hand and clasps it tight within his' to drag me away from Karin.

His hand was still locked in mine as we took the elevator up, only letting go when he slammed the room's door behind us. "How could you let her do that?" He immediately folded his arms, standing in the hallway from the main door.

"Do what?" I tilted my head, confused.

"Tear you down. She definitely was doing it intentionally." He growled, still looking as furious. I scratched my head as I shrugged unconfidently. "Well, what she saying is tru-"

"Don't say that." He interrupted me before I could finish. "Man, what is that boyfriend of yours doing? How could he allow you to ever feel this way?" He continued.

"It isn't his fault. I.. I can't confide in him. Besides, he's busy.. I don't want to bother him with my problems."

He shook his head disapprovingly. "Where did you go running off to anyway? I tried looking everywhere for you before I bumped into you and that woman.. She was talking so loud I could hear her a mile away."

I didn't know what to say, I couldn't tell him Sasuke was here. He would be heartbroken. Luckily, he hasn't made any connection of the models to my lover. He must have thought the celebrities were on vacation by coincidence.

Just as I opened my mouth to answer, my phone rang. I thanked god before excusing myself to pick up the phone call. It was Sasuke calling.

"Hey, is everything alright?"
"Yeah, everything is fine. What's up?" I whispered into my phone, not wanting to arouse any suspicion from Kiba who was across the room.
"Karin said she saw someone holding your hand and pulling you away. I know her words aren't trust worthy, so I'm checking in on you." He calmly spoke through the phone. His kind words made me feel so guilty. Not because there was anything going on between Kiba and I.

But the fact that even though I chose to spend the weekend with another man.
Sleeping a the same hotel room.
Someone that he dislikes.
He still trusts me, whole heartedly.
Yet I.. don't even have that same faith in our love. In his love.

What do I tell him?
If I allowed him to know what Karin was saying to me, he might be able to catch on to my insecurities. I can't allow that..

"Ah, nothing happened. I just require a bit of assistance to walk because of the fall I took yesterday." I could almost cry lying through my teeth to someone I love so much.

"... I'm the worst. It slipped my mind that you were injured. But you still came to look for me." He sighed in between his words before he continued speaking, "I love you so much. It hurts not being able to see you."

There was another pause from him again.
"I wish I could be there for you.. instead of another man."

His words stabbed through my heart.
I am the one that keeps us separated. He's doing this for me. I am the one that refuses to confide in him. I am the one that doesn't want to lean on him. Instead I rely on my best friend for comfort and advice.

Without considering Sasuke's feelings again.

But I wish he could understand why.
I'm doing this for him.
I don't want him to be distracted from his professional life any more than he already is.
After all, he has suffered a few scandals because of me.. I'm sure his management isn't happy about that.

"I'm sorry about this, Sasuke. Let's have a date tomorrow after school." I tried to suppress my negative feelings and insecurities as I spoke with him.

"Really? I'll pick you up from school." His voice perked up. "I know you don't like me to pick you up in my car, so I'll wait for you in a cab."

"In sunglasses?" I asked, laughing.

"In sunglasses."

We spent a couple more minutes talking over the phone before we said our goodbyes. He told me his personal assistant, Sai, couldn't watch him spend any more time in a tent and got someone to drive over an recreational vehicle which had proper shelter and bed in it. I was relieved to hear that. Now, I can't wait for the school's trip to be over. I can't wait to spend time with Sasuke.

I can't wait to see him tonight.

"Was that Sasuke?" A disappointing voice emerged from across the room. I turned around, almost forgetting Kiba was here with me. I nodded to him, "Yeah." Failing to hold back a smile from my best friend.

Sasuke has such power over me, even bringing along the entire world with him, he makes me forget that the entire world even exists. He makes me feel like the only one existing, always giving me his full attention and love.

It hurts.
I miss him.
I yearn for him.
His smell, warmth and touch.