salvation [ l.f & m.h ]

Twenty Eight.

It had been a week since everything I knew had changed. That night I came home, laid in bed, and cried for what felt like forever. I had felt every emotion possible. But mostly my heart just ached. And it was my own fault. I had no reason to me mad at Missy or Lucas. I constantly said Lucas and I were just friends. Missy didn't know how I felt... I didn't even know how I felt until then.

But I was still hurt. It hurt to know that she was with him. When she came home the morning after she knocked on my door to talk to me. She asked me if I was okay. I smiled and told her I was completely fine. She asked me what I was there for. I made up some bullshit answer that I can't even remember. When Riley came in the room wondering where she had been she gushed and gave us every detail of what had happened. I celebrated with her, hugging her and laughing. When they left me alone I cried again. The thing is I was happy for her, I am happy for her. She has become one of my best friends how could I not be happy for her.

I walk out to the kitchen and open the fridge. I stare into it for awhile then close it. I haven't been very hungry later. I plop down onto the couch and wrap a fuzzy blanket around me. Clicking through Netflix I decide to watch Friends, something that doesn't require me to pay a lot of attention. I'm laughing at something Phoebe said when the front door opens. Missy walks in with Lucas behind her.

My throat tightens and my stomach clenches. I haven't seen him since that night.

"Hey Girly, I'm just grabbing a scarf!" She come over and kisses the top of my head. She is very affectionate when it comes to Riley and I.

Then she walks into her room leaving Lucas and I alone. Neither of us says anything. I stare at the paused TV screen.

He clears his throat. "Hey."

"Hi"

"So..." He scratches his neck. "I just wanted to apologize for the other night."

"Oh don't even worry about it!" I rush. "It was totally my fault I shouldn't have ambushed you like that."

"No, she's your friend I should've-"

"Seriously, Lucas. It's so fine! Missy is great!"

He shoves his hands in his pockets. "Yeah she is... we're just hanging out but she's fun."

My heart hurts.

He starts to say something else but Missy walks back into the room. "You guys talking about me behind my back?" she asks.

"Only good things" I force a smile.

"Better be!" She waves. "I'll be back later, kay?"

"Okay."

I spend the rest of the day emerging myself in Friends and doodling in a notebook.

A few more days go by and I force myself to act normal. I go to work and I go to class and I laugh and smile and I am fine. Everyone believes it.

Everyone except my art professor.

For a week now the only thing I have been turning in are paintings, drawings, and sketches of rain or storms. He knows that art is one of the purest forms or expression emotions, so he basically sees into all of our souls.

"Miss Hart" He pipes up as I am about to leave the classroom.

I hoist my bag higher on my shoulder and walk to his desk.

He peers over a stack of papers. "Is there something going on with you these days?"

"Not really, no"

Not really... hmm. Your art tells me otherwise." He spreads out my work on his desk, the black, blue, and gray colors engulfing the space.

"I'm just going through some stuff I guess" I play with the strap of my bag.

"Well is there anything I can do to help with this... stuff?"

"Do you happen to own a time machine?" I ask.

He smiles. "That I do not. If I did do you think I would be here right now?" He waves his arms around, gesturing to the room.

I crack a smile. "Probably not."

He waits a moment. "I know what you're going to turn in for your next project."

I raise my eyebrows.

"Paint for me where you would go if you had a time machine."

"I think I can do that."

When I get back to the apartment I sketch out some ideas right away. The one that stands out the most is an image of a party, a girl and a boy in the middle. This time the girl doesn't run away.