Selfish.
He stopped at a nearby park, so I did too. He didn't look at me nor I did too. It was maybe too awkward for him or is it just me who has the problem in speaking first.
But I was wrong. Bigla siyang humarap sakin, hands in his pockets with his typical poker face.
"B-Bakit mo pala ako dinala dito?" Tanong ko sa kanya
Humakbang siya papalapit sakin at sadyang tanga ako dahil hindi ako umalis nang nasa harapan ko na siya. He stared me for a while habang iniiwasan ko naman ang kanyang mata. I can't make eye contact dahil alam kong sasabog na naman yung puso ko kapag ginawa ko yon.
"Is this..." He trailed off. "Is this place familar to you?" Nabigla ako sa tanong niya.
"No. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita." I smiled. "Ang ganda pala dito ano?" Umupo ako sa nakita kong stone chair malapit sa fountain. At nung tiningnan ko siya, nakayuko siya habang nakangiti.
"You know..." Pagsisimula niya. "I shouldn't have brought you here." lumaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya.
Bahagyang kumirot yung dibdib ko sa sinabi niya. The pain now wasn't compared to before. It was somehow much more than what I felt when he told me a million of hurtful things. Pero iba ngayon, innaamin ko nang mahal ko siya.
And I'm scared.
That maybe one day, I might be too late to grab the rope and prevent myself form falling too hard.
"W-Why?" Stuttering, I ask.
"Your parents might be looking for you." I pressed both of my lips to prevent myself from smiling. Lahat ng kirot nawala dahil sa sinabi niyang yan.
"They're not home now." I answered.
He looked at his watch. "But it's getting late now. I'll walk you home."
He started walking first, habang ako, katulad kanina, nasa likod niya at sinusundan parin siya.
***
Pagkahatid na pagkahatid sa akin ni Kayden, umakyat ako sa aking kwarto at kinuha ko ang aking unan. I covered my face by the use of it and screamed. Hindi dahil sa galit kundi sa kilig na nararamdaman ko ngayon.
Naalala ko ang pagngiti niya sakin, sa harap ko.
Kinuha ko yung phone ko at tinignan ag date
It was August 28. Three days more at debut ko na. My mom said that the party will be held at our house at buti naman na sinunod niya yung sinabi ko na, ayokong makakita ng mga businessman nila papa doon. Baka mageendorse pa yung magulang ko ng tuluyan.
At katulad nga ng sinabi ko, wala kaming kompanya. May business lang kami na pinapatakbo. Noong una, nagsimula iyon dito. Iyon yung mga oras kung saan kasama ko pa yung magulang ko. Yung tipong naging close na kaming lahat.
But they weren't contented with what we get every month.
Okay naman yung fifty thousand na income namin per month, pero para sa kanila, it still wasn't enough. They wanted ten times more than that.
Kaya sinimulan nilang magpatayo sa ibang bansa.
Hanggang sa ilang bansa na yung pinagtayuan nila ng business namin.
At hanggang sa nawalan na sila ng oras sakin.
From them, I learned that everything small, may turn out big. And I knew that the small feeling I had before towards him was getting deeper than I thought it would be. The hole was apparently getting bigger than I expected it to be.
***
I came to school early. Kasabay ko si Denisse sa family car nila or yung sundo nila. Brett wasn't there.
Well he was always not there anyway. Anong difference non?
Parang feeling ko napahiya siya kahapon dahil may sasabihin nga dapat siya sakin.
Pero come to think of it, kung hindi ko siya tinakbuhan at iniwasan, hindi ako mapapansin ni Kayden. Diba?
I am being so selfish right now.
And I didn't even care what would Brett feel.
YOU ARE READING
Endless You
General Fiction[Youth#1] When you feel love for the first time, you'll never know what to do. There wasn't the word 'right' neither the word 'wrong'. You would just scream between pillows and cry on someone's shoulder because you felt it. For the very first time...
