Fault

Chapter 58

There I stood, before Mr. Tolliver, with a steadfast and indignant posture. Possessing ample time to spare, I waited patiently for a logical explanation to surface in spite of his flagrant stupidity. Why on earth would this man hit me with the shock of bailing out such a monster, then act taken aback by my attitudinal counterblow? Did he not fully understand why Jeremy was locked up in the first place? To add insult to injury, even after the severity of the situation was explained, Tolliver continued carrying on in such a way that only added more fuel to my fire.

"WELL AT LEAST TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" I demanded.

"Now...now, THAT I don't know at the moment," he admitted hesitantly.

"HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO..." I began, before taking a deep breath to calm myself down. After all, I was speaking to a pastor, right? "Listen to me...please! Jeremy is an extremely dangerous person. For my safety...and my child's safety, okay, it's VERY important that I know what's going on at ALL TIMES..."

"Hold on, now, now just hold on, because there are two sides to a story!" He stuttered while throwing his hands up in an act of surrender. "I-I-I hear what you're saying, and I can imagine why you'd be, well, upset. I mean, if things really happened the way you say, then we should just pray about it and know that God will take care of the rest!"

"You know what...as an elder and esteemed pastor in a church, most would expect you to at least have SOME degree of good sense and sound judgment," I said while picking up the two grocery bags resting at my feet. Tears started to flow as I took a few steps back. "When you finally hear on the news that I'm dead, and my only child has lost his mother because of a man you bailed out of jail...make sure you tell the church folks where their tithes went!"

"I can assure you right now, that no church money was used! I have my own money!" He corrected.

"You STILL don't get it," I said, shaking my head before walking away. It was evidently clear that nothing else was left to be said.

At that point, I was on my own and defenselessly vulnerable to the unknown. No, Jeremy hadn't tried to contact me that day, but I knew from experience that it was only a matter of time. Also, because he had a history of acting on past threats, it was important that Tionna was kept abreast on the latest news as well. Little did I know, she had swapped work schedules last minute with a co-worker and wasn't home nor fully available at the moment. On the brighter side, she assured me that our numbers would be changed through her phone company immediately and advised me to head home and lock the doors. As an alternative, I was also given the option to stay at my grandmother's house for the time being. Unfortunately, it was only 4:30 pm and Tionna wouldn't be able to pick me up until midnight. 

While making my way home, deep paranoia set in and the thought of going to my granny's place began to seem more appealing. Prior to heading that way, however, I would first need a few items from the house. Mone' and the baby were due roughly around 7:00 pm. So, I would only be alone for a couple of hours tops, giving me plenty of time to shower, eat and, pack a bag for Jamal and I.

As I moved about the house, shortly just before 6:30 pm there was an audible knock at the door.  I was thankful Mone' decided to come a little early because being home alone was beginning to take its toll. After turning down the t.v. volume, another knock was heard, but this time with a more aggressive and impatient rap.

"HOLD ON, GIRL! JUST A SECOND!" I yelled, grabbing hold of the door nob, then looking through the peephole. The view was oddly blocked which slightly annoyed me. "Ugh, you know I'm not opening the door until you move your hand right?"

Despite my warning, the view remained obstructed without a verbal response or explanation. Seconds later, a belligerent pounding followed causing every picture on the wall to quake. At that point, I knew Mone' could never be responsible for that type of disturbance. My greatest fear seemed to be coming true.

"JEREMY, I KNOW IT'S YOU! GET AWAY FROM MY DOOR!"

"Shi Shi please let me in, we need to talk," he insisted.

"THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT!" I yelled running toward the kitchen to grab a knife. 

The muddled thoughts now flowing through my mind were fiercely intense. Within seconds, I considered every possible method to protect myself. In the same breath, the countless ways to potentially fail at doing so also became a viable consideration. If I got a knife and he overpowered me, he may stab me to death or worse. If I grabbed a hammer or bat, he may somehow pry it from my hands and bludgeon me. Despite my fears, I grabbed both a kitchen knife and hammer, leaving the rest to fate. The only other object needed was my phone, but in the midst of the chaos, I couldn't for the life of me remember where I had placed it.

"Open the door, Shauna, All I need is ten minutes of your time!" He appealed.

"You're scaring me, Jeremy, I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE!" I shouted, while aggressively sifting through a pile of clothes on the couch in search of my phone. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!"

"OPEN THE F**KIN' DOOR! QUIT ACTIN' LIKE SOMEBODY IS TRYING TO HURT YOU! I SAID I JUST WANTED TO TALK!"

At that point, his knocking escalated to a violent kick. The more Jeremy kicked, I consciously became aware that the door would eventually give way! There was no fear in his voice, only the unremitting hunger to effectuate his twisted desire. The longer he was deprived of it, the more discontented he became. The more displeasure and anger consumed him, the more fervidly he pursued. It was obvious to me that reasoning favorably with the devil, in this case, was seemingly futile...