Fault

Chapter 38

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Let me go!" I screamed with a note so paralyzing that it caused the back of my throat to go dry.

The force from Jeremy's heave, caused me to spin combatively to relieve the tension from his painful grip. Using the weight of my body, I dropped to the ground then leaned backward in order to lift my legs and kick. The blow from my feet to his knee was exactly what I needed to create a safe distance between us.

"GET THE F**K AWAY FROM ME! DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! CALM YO ASS DOWN!" He blared.

"NO! DON'T YOU EVER IN YO LIFE PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME! I'M NOT PLAYIN' WITH YOU, N***A!"

"SHI SHI, STOP MAKING A SCENE OUT HERE LIKE SOMEBODY IS TRYING TO HURT YOU!"

"YOU DID! YOU PUT A BRUISE ON MY DAMN ARM FROM YOU PULLIN' SO HARD!" I shouted.

"Can you please just stop yelling? I wasn't trying to hurt you, I was just trying to get you to come back inside, DAMN!"

"NO, I WON'T! BUT, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING RIGHT DAMN NOW...I AM NOT GOING TO ACCEPT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE PUTTING THEIR HANDS ON ME! PERIOD! I DON'T ACCEPT ABUSE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM! YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"

"AGAIN, I'M SORRY!! I wasn't trying to hurt you!" He replied, strongly annunciating each word.

"Well, it sure as hell seemed like it to me!" I said bringing my voice down a bit. "There's nothing you can say to me right now that would make me forgive you! If you think for one second you can treat me like this, OR insinuate that I'm pregnant with someone else's baby, then you got me f***ed up! I might as well go and be with someone else right damn now! I don't play those type of games, Jeremy!"

"Obviously, I only said that because I was upset! You know I didn't mean that s**t for real!" He adduced.

"It's kinda funny that you're always doin' and sayin' s**t you claim you don't mean. You're so f***ed up in the head, that it's now compromising my sanity! I NEED TO GO!"

"SHAUNA!" He yelled. "Can we PLEASE just go BACK in the HOUSE! You got me out here about to embarrass myself for YOU!"

"I'm done! Like...I mentally cannot handle being with you! THIS...WHAT WE'RE DOING... IS F***ING CRAZY! I'm not a crazy person, Jeremy!"

"Baby, I know! That's why I'm tryin' to get you back inside so we can end all this! I love you, girl! I'm not trying to hurt you! I'll do whatever it takes to make you see that! LOOK AT ME SHI SHI! You got me out here cryin' like a lil' B***H!"

"You got yourself out here like this!" I said folding my arms, unfazed.

"Please don't say you're leaving me! IT'S NOT OVER! I would kill myself if you ever left me, babe!"

"OH MY GOD! Don't tell me that! ...please!" I said covering my face with both hands.

"I'm serious! If you don't believe it, then just walk away...it's whatever. Just know that I really loved you."

The thought of someone killing themselves on account of me was more than I could handle. Never in my life had I EVER experienced such a situation. The possibility of him actually following through with it, foolishly made me let my guard down.

We stood there in the middle of the street, and I silently watched Jeremy sobbing uncontrollably as if someone dear to him had died. More than anything, the way he underhandedly turned himself into the victim had me completely thrown for a loop— I was both confused and angered on so many levels!

"Jeremy, a car is coming. It doesn't have any lights on, so let's move away from the street," I suggested urgently.

"It doesn't matter," he replied. "I hope the car runs me over."

Suddenly, the tears stopped flowing, and he had taken on a more serious persona. The look in his eyes made me believe his words.

"Jeremy, please! Stop all this foolery... I won't leave!" I cried.

He allowed me to pull him to safety, then embraced me tightly while continuing to apologize. The emotion of the event also brought me to tears, as I struggled to understand what he was going through mentally. He needed some serious help! We spoke for a few minutes more before he asked the one question I wasn't ready to address.

"Are you staying here with me for a little while longer...or are you still going home? I really need you right now." He said.

My head throbbed with pain and the weight of his constrictive question became more and more lowering. The last thing I remember was seeing white spots in the lenses of my eyes, then everything faded to black...