Fault

Chapter 25

"Excuse me, Miss!" Spencer called out sarcastically, with an animated inflection. He continued his slow advance toward me. "Can you tell me how to get to..."

"Say another word to me, and I swear to God..."

"You swear to God what ma'am? I'm just a poor, lost, lovesick soul trying to find my way back to a reasonable level of sanity, and you won't even help me?"

"You really find this amusing don't you?" I questioned disgustedly.

"Yeah, it's strikingly funny in the UNFUNNIEST way actually," he said as if pondering the thought.

"Why did you do what you did, Spence? You straight acted like a jealous boyfriend, when WE'RE JUST FRIENDS REMEMBER!"

"'Friends, how many of us have them...FRIENDS...ones you can depend on...'" He sang the familiar song by, Whodini, while circling around me." I pushed him in his chest to make him stop.

His subsequent laughter resonated in the deserted hallway, creating an echo that seemed to encircle us endlessly. I had never seen this side of him before!

"I'm just trying to figure out what I've done to deserve all this?" I said wistfully. His temperament changed from a cheerful amusement, to calm and sober.

"Everything always has to be about you, huh? That's your biggest problem!"

"No, my problem is the fact that you pulled that dumb ass stunt in front of the guy I'm dating! Everything was great between us before then!" I exclaimed.

"Great for who Shi Shi?" Spencer said slightly raising his voice. "Listen, I don't give a damn who you're dating, f*****g, or spending your time with, alright. Why lie to me though and try to play me like I'm stupid! After everything I've done for you, Is that honestly what I deserve?"

"What! How have I done that?" I said passionately, yet playing stupid.

"See, it's s**t like this that I just can't handle! I've asked you countless times before if you were dating somebody and you played me to the left...Telling me things like, 'Oh, I'm not ready for a relationship, or I'm just trying to balance being a full-time student and the best mother I can be right now.' Feeding ME, THE GOOD GUY, lies and straight bullshit! For what? Just tell me you were never interested!"

"Spencer," I exhale palming my face. "I'm sooo..."

"Nah, I'm not tryin' to hear s**t else from you, man. Just know that no matter what, I'll always look out for you, Shi. Despite the fact that you've been tryin' to play me, I STILL have feelings for you...even after all this! And I swear to God, ON MY SOUL, if you say we aren't together ONE MORE TIME, I'm gonna really lose my s**t. No, we didn't have the title, but don't make it seem like we weren't something special— even without sex. You know why? Because I respected every part of you enough to wait!"

I stared speechlessly at Spencer not knowing my next move. In a strange yet incredible way, I had just witnessed his evolution. Why couldn't he have been this impassioned from the beginning? For the first time, he was asserting himself and it absolutely made me feel something for him. Was this a genuine attraction?

The incontestable facts about my behavior left me feeling admittedly convicted. However, in the back of my selfish and manipulative mind, I knew he wasn't going anywhere. After this elaborate display of passion, I decided that I didn't want him to. He continued to speak.

"Look, I just need to fall back from this quote-unquote friendship," He voiced, filling the dead-air. "I'll always be here when you need me though," He said while walking away.

"WAIT!" I cried out. He turned to look at me. "I don't want to lose you or this... friendship," I said hanging my head low. "I've been through sooooo much these last two years with Trey, and the baby. The drama had nothing to do with you, but I'm ready to fix what's broken within myself. Just don't give up on me."

"Cut the bulls**t already!" He countered, with a slight smile. I haven't gone anywhere. Just be happy, okay! For the record, I wasn't trying to break up your 'relationship.' I just wanted to see who he was, and figure out why him and not me, that's all..."

His words made me blush.

"Hey, before I head back to class, I need to know one thing. Why haven't you ever spoken up to me like this before?" I interrogated. "This...this passion is what I've been waiting on. You always let me walk all over you and do whatever."

"I guess you like this type of stuff. Like, you really must get off on this," he said distastefully. "Did your baby's father mentally f**k you up THAT much to where you need someone cursing at you and gettin' all in your face to prove their love? Well, I'm not that type of man and I don't have that type of energy. Good luck with that new guy though, and by the way, you might want to get yourself checked out..." Spencer walked away leaving me to feel completely empty and confused.

"Get myself checked out?" I whispered to myself, while on the verge of tears. "What the hell did he meant by that?"