Beautiful Disaster

Sixty-six

     Kayleigh POV

I didn't think that when I woke up I would be back here...

I starred straight ahead, not wanting to move..

Not wanting to breathe.

I felt a bigger hand holding onto mine, I knew who it was, just like I knew who was standing there next to him. It didn't matter though.

None of it did.

I chose to push Cage, I fought one last time. I wanted to die, I was ready for it, it was my choice. For a moment I thought I had control. But that's the thing though isn't it.. I was never in control, I just had a small illusion of it. All my life decisions were made for me.

I had no choice in life why would I have a choice in death?

I could hear Bell and Tavia speaking to me, but I couldn't make out their words.

I wanted them to go away, wanted them to stop touching me.. I wanted to scream.

"You have to keep fighting." Her voice invades my hearing.

My eyes burn, as I feel the sting of tears. I try to take a deep breath but instantly regret it. The pain is sharp, and all too real. I feel a hot tear leak from the corner of my eye, feel it track down the side of my face. Shortly after the first one falls, more follows it, and I can't stop.

I ment what I said, I was tired of fighting, tired of feeling, so damn tired of the pain that never seemed to go away. Softer hands move to my face, gently wiping the tears as they fall and I cant help but flinch at the contact. I couldn't help it, couldn't stop the movement, couldn't stop the shaking of my body.

"Please.." I tried to speak but it came out as a harsh whisper. "Please don't.. Touch..me."

My chest heaves frantically, adding more and more pain with each breath I take, machines around me start making more and more noise, just adding to the turmoil I was already in.

Why won't it stop? Why won't it all just stop?!

Everything is coming down on me at once. The smells, feelings, touches, words, intents. I'm so close to releasing that scream that's building up inside of me, when Abby appears in front of me, syringe in hand.
My heart beats even faster at the sight. I anxiously await to feel the biting sting of the needle in my veins. Instead she sticks the needle into the IV in my hand that I'm now noticing for the first time.

"What is that?" I hear Tavia ask as the drumming heartbeat in my ears starts to fade.

"Nothing that won't hurt her." Abby replies. "A light sedative to help her calm down."

I didn't want to calm down. I didn't want to be here! Why was that so hard to understand? Why couldn't you just let me die!

"Why?" I croaked out looking at Abby. I couldn't bear to look at Tavia it Bell. "Why couldn't you just let me die?"

I didn't hear her response, the wave of darkness was already crashing over me.

"Because death is so much easier than living."