The adventures of the white and crimson rabbit

Chapter 11

It has been two days since the incident and Bell hasn't woke up, Airmid said it was normal due to the blood he lost but it still worried Loki. Her familia was already investigating the matter about evilus, with the name Ryuu gave them they could start collecting information. Thanatos is a god that presides over dead, we still don't know what his relationship is with evilus but we were collecting information about it. Things were kinda going back to normal except for two people, Aiz and Ryuu. Loki had met her at the hostess of fertility but just as waitress and customer, she came a few times to check on Bell and Loki took advantage and talked with her. Ryuu explained her past and why she was targeted by evilus, she felt guilty about what had happened to Bell, just as Aiz, Riveria tried to console her but she kept feeling guilty, you could say that Ryuu and Aiz felt the same guilt. It made Loki kinda happy that Aiz felt like this, the situation was terrible but Aiz had never felt any other desire than getting stronger so her feeling like this made her more like a normal girl of her age.

At the top of the babel tower, Ottar was making his report to his goddess.

- ... , that's all the information we had collected, also, it seems like the Loki familia is also investigating this matter, do you wish to cooperate with them Freya-sama?

Freya, sitting in her chair in front of the window, placed the glass of wine she had on the table and answered.

- No, if we cooperate with them I won't be able to make them pay for what they have done. Proceed as always, and be ready to make a move, do not let the Loki familia get in front of us.

- As you wish. Freya-sama.

Ottar left the room and left Freya alone, she was still enraged about what happened, and she was sure she would make them pay for it.

Bell's POV:

"I killed a man, I killed a man, I killed a man..." This thought wouldn't leave my mind, I still could see the man's body cut, the blood flooding out the wound splashing my clothes and my hands, his scream before falling dead. This scene kept repeating itself in my brain, I didn't even knew if Ryuu was ok, or If I was still alive, my body wouldn't move and everything was black around me, the only thing accompanying me was the agonizing pain of knowing that I had become a murderer instead of a hero, the scene kept repeating in my mind. "I could have knocked him out, I could have restrained him... but I didn't, I killed him"

A light appeared in front of me, it kept getting brighter and brighter until it consumed me.

- He is awakee!! call Airmid now!!

I heard a voice that sounded familiar. I turned my head and saw a short red haired woman coming closer to me.

- Bell, are you ok?

I remembered her, she is Loki, the goddess of the familia I belong to. She had a worried look in her face, I tried to answer, but I didn't have the strength to do so. She got near me and she grabbed my hand,  felt a warm feeling coming from my inside but it disappeared instantly when the man I killed came to my mind again, I wasn't allowed to feel happy, I killed a man.

A doctor came in and checked on me, she said that I should be able to recover completely in a few days but it didn't matter to me, I still felt a lot of pain, something that couldn't be healed with magic. A couple of days passed and people kept coming to visit me, but I didn't want to see anyone so I faked that I was sleeping, some of them probably noticed this but I just didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there as soon as I could.

- Loki, do you what's happening?. - Finn asked.

- No idea. - Loki simply replied.

Loki, Finn, Riveria, Aiz, Ryuu and Syr were reunited in the waiting room at the hospital, Gareth wasn't there because he was leading the familia in collecting information about evilus while Finn was away, They were all reunited because they noticed how Bell pretended to be asleep when any of them entered his room. Bell was an enthusiastic boy who didn't hide his emotions from others but now, he was the opposite of that, he wasn't acting like the Bell they knew.

They discussed a few ideas but none of the made sense, until Ryuu realized what could it be.

- I think I might know what's happening.

- What?

- It's a vague idea but I think it may have something to do with him killing the evilus member.

- Why do you think so?

- Before he fell unconscious, he had to fight an evilus member and he killed him without knowing why, just because of me, he is an innocent boy so maybe doing something that traumatic is making him feel guilty. He probably wasn't ready to do it.

- I could understand that, he had to something he didn't want to.

Ryuu knew that Bell didn't wanted to kill anyone, he wanted to become an adventurer but he didn't knew that being an adventurer and a part of a familia in Orario meant that he might had to fight other people, and he discovered it the hard way. Ryuu's guilt kept growing until she decided she had to fixed it at any cost. She left the waiting room and went to Bell's room.

When she entered she noticed I covered myself with a blanket and closed my eyes, she ignored it and she sat besides me and started talking.

- I don't mind you pretending to be asleep and if you don't want to stop I understand it, but at least I want you to listen to my story.

I didn't move to see if she left but It didn't have any effect.

- I used to be an adventurer like you are, I was part of the Astraea familia, a familia that was dedicated to protect the people and the peace, and also fought the evil, we had a lot of work during the dark age of Orario, when evilus was really strong and a war exploded here in Orario. Next to other familias we protected the people and fought the evil, but one day, following evilus in the dungeon we fell into an enemy trap and everyone in my familia was killed except of me, after that, consumed by the flames of revenge I pledged to revenge them and so I did, I killed everyone who had the smallest relation with evilus, I didn't even ask, I just killed them to try to ease my pain, but it didn't do anything, and after I finished evilus my only reason to be alive was gone, I was wounded and broken inside and I collapsed in an alley. I was waiting to die until Syr came and saved me, she extended her arm to me, a cold blooded murderer and she along with Mia and the rest gave me a reason to live, and now, you saved me and gave me another reason to live, I know you are considering yourself guilty and but you are not.

As she talked a lot of emotions revolved inside me, her story was unexpected but the meaning behind it was even more, she meant that even she, someone who had killed many could overcome it and live again, but it wasn't that easy to assimilate. My mood started to rise thinking that I could overcome it but the dead body came to my mind again.

- I can't become a hero. - I muttered.

- What?

- I can't become a hero!!!!!!. - I yelled letting all my emotions explode

- That's true. - She answered.

That hit me like a lightning, if she was trying to cheer me up why...

- Because you already are one.

And the second lightning hit me, I rose up and looked at her sky blue eyes in confusion.

- You are my hero, you risked your life to protect me. You are Syr's hero, you stood for her when adventurers were harassing her. You are Loki's hero, you saved her when someone tried to kill her. You are the hero of those people the evilus member would have killed if you didn't do anything. You are a hero.

My body couldn't hold any longer and I fell in her arms and cried everything out.

- It hurts a lot.

- I know. - Ryuu replied while accommodating me in her arms and petting my head.

I felt comfortable in Ryuu's arms, I found peace in them, I know my sin would not leave me, but that is why I wanted to become stronger, I'll become strong enough so this will never happen again, I'll become strong enough to save everyone and defeat evil, something like this will happen again, but I'll live with it so no one else has to. I felt so comfortable in Ryuu's arms that I ended falling asleep in them.

Loki and the rest entered the room to find the boy sleeping on the arms of the elf, she looked at the face of the boy who was sleeping peacefully and she got near him and stroke his hair.

- I'm glad you are back.