Bad Thoughts

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Ruby's POV:
"Did you get the projector from ms. Ortiz?" I ask Jasmine. "Ruby I take my job very seriously of course I got it." She laughs. "Ok so put it right over there, I'll plug it into the extension cord over there." I check another box off on my clipboard. "I'm not questioning you or anything jefe but why are you doing all this for Monse and Cesar?" She asks. "I'm just being a good friend." If I'm being honest I had plans for Valentine's Day with Olivia but now it's all too complicated. I would never do such a half ass date but it's the thought that counts I guess. "You sure? It kinda feels like you're trying to keep busy. There's tons of girls that wanna get with you Ruby, you should be with them tonight." She says and I shake my head. "Why not?" She asks. "They didn't look at me twice until I get shot and now I'm just that kid that didn't die. I want a girl who wants me for me not for a bullet wound." I tell her sincerely. "Yeah, I know what you mean. With these nalgas I never know if people are after my juicy lady lumps or the juicy lady lump in my chest." She says and I look at her like she's crazy. "My heart you idiot." She laughs. "Oh right." She's weird but not in the way I used to think. "Anyways, I think you can do better than Olivia. You're too nice for your own good she's gonna take advantage of that." She says as she puts down the fake candles. "Don't get me wrong, I love my girl Olivia, but she just expected you to stay when you found out she was pregnant and she went after you when she realized Cesar didn't like her. Don't let a girl use your strength like it's a weakness." I can't believe I'm about to say this but maybe Jasmine's right. "Thanks for this. You should be out too, if you want I can finish up here." I suggest. "No, you're the only guy I want to be spending Valentine's Day with." She smiles. "How can you be so nice after I ran from you for so long?" I ask. "Even though you ran, sometimes literally, I wasn't going anywhere. The best things in life take time. If it's worth it you work for it." Jasmine's really spitting facts today. "So, when we're done here you want to grab something to eat? Maybe hangout for a little bit?" I ask and she freezes. "Are you ok? Do you need your inhaler?" I ask quickly. "I'm good, I'm cool. I just never thought you'd want to hangout." She says. "We're hanging out right now." I tell her. "Don't get it twisted this is strictly business baby." She says and I laugh. "I'm almost done here. I'll get you at your house after I take a shower and everything." I tell her. "Classy, I see you Ruby." She smiles as she walks away.

*Later that night*
Cesar's POV:
"It's all set outside candles are on, Christmas lights are plugged in and her favorite movie is in the projector all you gotta do is press play and not fuck shit up." Ruby says over the phone. "Thanks, I owe you." I tell him before I hang up. "Monse, can you help me grab something from outside?" I ask her. "Ok, just give me a second." She says as she scrolls through Instagram. "It won't take that long." I say. She doesn't respond so I throw her over my shoulder and I walk into the backyard. She squirms the whole time and I just hold her tighter. "Surprise." I tell her as I put her down. "You did all this?" She asks. Man I should've payed Ruby for this. "I can't take all the credit." Or any of it. "Ruby and Jasmine set it up." I tell her. "Remind me never to second guess you again." She smiles. She wraps her arms around my neck and just looks at me. "What?" I ask. "I want to remember this moment forever." She says. "Yeah, no matter what we go through just remember today, ok?" I ask and she nods. I know in a few days when she talks to Latrelle all this happiness is probably going to be over and she'll freak out but I just hope she remembers all this. I know it's all basically built on a lie but knowing that she likes all this means a lot. If a couple crappy sheets and some lights from the dollar store make her happy then maybe I can be enough for her. "One more thing." I tell her. I pick up the remote off the ground and press play on whatever movie Ruby picked out. "I love you." She kisses me and we sit down. "Thank you Ruby." I mumble under my breath. "Now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything." She says. "Don't, spending time with you and being with you means the world to me. "You're so cheesy." She laughs. If only she knew the whole reason I'm doing this is to stop her from knowing that I might have to put a green light on her cousin. I can feel my chances of getting out fading away every time I have to do anything like this. "I don't know what I'd do if you went to live with your mom. You're like the only person here who doesn't have conditional love for me." I can tell what I said was way too deep but it's the truth. "No matter where I go, I'm always gonna love you." Is she planning on leaving? Maybe that's the best option. What am I thinking? Of course it's not the best option. "Yeah but it's not the same. Before you moved I didn't have someone else to care about I thought being a Santo was all I had." She sits up, holds my face in her hands and looks deep in my eyes. "I will never leave you, ok? I know this isn't it for you. We're getting that beach house." I kiss her and fake a smile but that beach house is just gonna be a dream if I have to kill Latrelle. Being with her at all is just going to be a dream if I have to kill him. I need to find an out but there isn't one. I just gotta handle this before she finds out.

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