Cahira

Chapter 12 - The first night

  I sit near the window, feeling the minutes pass but unable to stop thinking about Katherine and her words while I look at the green trees outside. You'll need someone else if Dominic is not here. You are not strong enough to fight a vampire. But can't I become strong enough? Can't I learn to fight them? I stare at the outside, at a single figure that's walking to the forest with such a grace that I instinctively know I am seeing a vampire. And then, suddenly, he is gone. Moved too fast for me to see. How would I be able to fight someone I can't even see? I am being stupid.

  But still... Maybe there's an opportunity, a way for me to protect myself so I don't need Katherine and even fight them if I need to. And to discover I only need to ask Dominic. But I can't. How am I supposed to ask him to teach me to fight his kind? Why would he accept to do that? 

  I let out a sigh of despair. A month ago I was worried about a Detention and how to convince my parents to let me go out with Oliver. Now I am worried about the best way to fight a vampire. How did it happen? When did I let things, life, completely escape from my control?

  I want my old life back. Want my parents, my brother, my house, Emma, my mundane problems. Not vampires, fights and killers. But I know too well I can't go back, things can't come back to what they were before. My parents and brother are dead, Emma would be in danger. Even if I want it, I can't have my old life back. 

  Someone knocks at the door, opening it before I can reply. It's Katherine again. This time she brings with her a silver tray with food. She stares at me for a moment, immobile at the door. And then sighs. Graciously, she walks towards the bed, placing there the tray, and then towards me, sitting in front of me.

  "What do you want?" I ask, my voice breaking. And then I bite my lip. I shouldn't have talked, my voice making me lose the little control I had, tears appearing in my eyes, watering them.

  I try to fight them under the attentive gaze of Katherine. And fail miserable. I am alone, insecure, without know how I can trust. For all I know I could be living with my family assassin. For all I know the assassin can be Dominic or Katherine. And I am scared, scared of everything. And I want my parents to support me, to tell me what I should do, what's the best choice. And they are not here, they'll never be anymore. And it hurts. A lot.

  "I know it is difficult," she says in a soft voice, her cold fingers touching my checks carefully, wiping away my tears. "I know it hurts. Know you are scared, afraid, not knowing who you can trust. You felt exactly as I did a long time ago. The reasons are different but the feelings... the feelings are the same. Loss, fear, pain, sadness. Feelings that no one should need to deal with."

  I want to let her comfort me, to let her words come and warm me like an embrace, sending away the bad emotions. But I can't. I'll still punish Rebecca. I'll not let someone who thinks that about the human life comfort me.

  "You know nothing about me."

  Her eyes harden, her features losing their softness. "You are courageous, Kiara. I saw that courage when you confronted me to try to help Rebecca, when you refused my second opportunity and see it now while you stare at me, your eyes full of hatred and defiance."

  "What you think of me means nothing."

  "But," she continues, ignoring my words, "I don't like it. I prefer the little girl crying and feeling helpless that you looked like when I arrived."

  I let out a little laugh of incredulity. Does she really think I care about what she likes or not?

  "And do you know why? Because that little, fearful girl would be more difficult to kill because she would be too afraid to stand by herself and that would be her salvation." What does that mean? "You, in the other hand, have too much courage inside you and will end up doing something really stupid that will make you end up dead."