Chapter 12

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Chapter 12

 

I had planned to wake up early on Saturday and head over to Matt’s house. I spent tossing and turning in my bed all night. I kept thinking about the next day and about seeing Silvia.

The little sleep I had during the night, caught up to me the next day. I woke up past midday on Saturday.

Since it was already late, I took my time getting ready. I lost count on how many times I changed my clothes. I mainly did it to delay my departure to Matt’s house.

I remembered how I used to dress up so much for Matt. I always felt like I had to do double the effort with him and because of who he was. I wasn’t perfect, but I tried so hard to be good enough for him. All this time, and he’d been the one with the fault.

My parents were lounging around the living when I went downstairs. They looked happy, and I was surprise they hadn’t woken me up early to take advantage of the day.

“Hey, you’re up,” my dad said.

He got up from the couch and walked over to give me a side hug.

“I was tired,” I told him, trying my best to smile.

“You okay Anna? You’re looking a little sick,” my mom commented.

She came to stand in front of me, putting the back of her hand against my forehead.

“I’m going to see Silvia.”

The look in their face was one I’d been expecting.

“Are you going right now?” My dad asked, looking at his watch.

“You don’t have to go,” my mom said as the same time.

“I need to speak with Silvia. But, I don’t think I’ll be long.”

“I’ll take you,” my dad quickly offered.

“No, it’s alright. I want to walk there,” I said, giving both of them a smile.

I didn’t have it in me, and I felt that they were able to see through my fake smile.

Matt didn’t live far from me. It was a fifteen minute walk that in a good pace could be shortened up. I however, dragged the walk the most that I could.

I had Matt’s journal in my hands. I didn’t know why I had brought it. Maybe to show Silvia that I had proof- that Matt himself had told me about everything the moment he wrote it down in his journal.

I rang the bell to Matt’s house, something which I wasn’t used to doing. I was close enough to them to be able to walk in without knocking. After everything that had happened, it just didn’t feel right.

“Annabel?” Silvia whispered my name.

She looked shocked to see me. Once that died down, she let out a choked sob, before throwing her arms around me.

“You came back, oh Annabel,” she said.

Right after that, she broke down crying.

We were standing in the doorway. Every time I attempted to speak, Silvia’s cries would stop me. By the time she calmed down, I had just enough time to drag us to the living room.

Once we sat down, she broke down again. I tuned out most of it. The numbness I had been feeling all those months before had come back full force.

This was what my life had been after Matt died.

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