NSFW (MxM) ✓

• 13

Timothy

Life has a funny way of telling you what you don't want to hear. As I lie in my bed— that has felt far too large for far too long— with another man, I can't help but think the worst things. I've been staring at the ceiling all morning, dreading the moment the naked guy next to me wakes up. I avert my gaze from his body and sigh silently.

Ross and I had sex.

It felt inevitable, yet feels so out of left field. Inevitable since we kissed, and surprising since he was straight and just my acquaintance two weeks ago.

Undoubtedly the worst feeling of all is the overwhelming sense of dread I have. A dread that I am far too familiar with. The fear of falling in love with another problem.

Ross is a straight guy fresh out of college and thrust into the world. He's the kind of guy that ignored all sides of his sexuality and is now on a collision course for everything horrible. Internalized homophobia, fragile masculinity, and struggling to accept the way things are... it's all things most men go through in some way.

And now, I'm falling for a guy who is being ripped apart by his own personal demons.

Ross begins shifting against the bed, rolling over onto his back. I keep my eyes glued to the wall opposite of him to not look upon him. I feel the pull of the blanket, so I turn back to face him, hoping he's covered now. His face is scrunched up in the most adorable way. He must be fighting the morning sun and trying to sleep longer.

After a few minutes, he squints hard and stretches a bit, naturally sitting up with raised arms. It takes him a few seconds to adjust to his surroundings and notice me lying here. I prop up my head on my arm and sigh. "Morning?"

"Hey," he whispers, looking away from my eyes. Shame. That's what shame looks like.

"Are you okay?" I ask him. He nods half heartedly.

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah." He stammers a bit, as if he's convincing himself of a lie. "Last night really happened..."

I bury my face in my pillow to hide my blushing face. "I enjoyed myself," I say truthfully. For the longest time, it was the best sex I've had. Ross is vers, so it was a nice experience to switch things up and have extended— yet heavy— foreplay. I'm usually a top, but something about him makes me want to lie down and take it.

"I... I did, too." I smile at that.

"You did?" I ask, rolling my head to see him.

He nods, trying not to smile. "It was passionate, you know? And really eye-opening. The experience was great."

"I'm glad you got more than pleasure out of it. It's always good to learn from sex." He just nods distractedly and rubs his hands together anxiously. "Oh, you want some coffee or anything?" God, I'm a bumbling idiot. I have this urge to over-accommodate him.

"It's fine, really. Besides, I've got to get home so I have time to get ready for work. Sorry..." he says shyly.

"Don't be sorry," I reply. "If you need a ride home, I've got you. If you want an Uber, allow me, please."

"O-okay. I'll take an Uber, I-I guess." I smirk. I kick the blankets and sheets off of me and walk around my bed to my closet. He's seen everything already, so might as well not be shy and cover up. Though I don't want to be too weird, so I throw on some thin workout shorts. Winning him over might take work, meaning the more skin I show, the better.

I exit my bedroom and allow him privacy to get dressed. Where are my disposable coffee cups? Ah! There they are. I start brewing him a cup of his favorite he usually gets at every coffee place we've been to together and order a car for him. Ross walks in with his clothes from yesterday on and smirks at me. "I said I'm good on coffee."