NSFW (MxM) ✓

• 08

"I basically said 'I love you.'" I whine to Ross. "I'm mortified."

"Why?" he asks. "You were straightforward, you meant what you said, and he didn't run away. So it should be okay."

"You don't get it, though. I freaked him out! He's not comfortable with the 'love' part of the relationship. It was stupid of me to let it slip anyways..."

"Do you? Do you love him?"

"I think it's too early to say. I have a lot of love for him. But I'm not sure he's the love of my life, you know? He makes me feel amazing, but I don't know if I'm completely in love or not."

"Could you live without him at this point in the relationship? If your answer is no, then you are in deep love with Mr. Reid." I look at Ross, who has the most serious expression he's ever expressed on his face.

"I could live without him, yeah." Thats's not a lie; if I had to move on today, I could.

"Then give it more time. One day, your answer might become no. Hopefully by then he'll think the same. Love between two people needs to be mutual. Just take your time, okay?"

I nod, taking in his surprisingly wise words like a sponge. As wise as his words were, there was lingering remorse behind them. It's like he didn't want to give me advice, but he still did anyways. Maybe I'm crazy.

I fall against the couch and sigh. We traveled back to our Roppongi suite since all of our stuff was here. Everyone but Calvin and I had taken the train home last night, so Calvin and I had some explaining to do this morning when we showed up.

We still haven't told them we're boyfriends, but they know by now we are more than friends. Ross knows we're boyfriends because I tell Ross, well, everything. And Calvin does the same with Sarah.

"Ben, come in here for a sec," Calvin calls to me from our room. I stand and scurry into the room to find him shirtless, lying on the bed.

"What's up?" I cough.

"I wanna hold you," he whines.

"Okay," I sigh and roll into the side of him. He puts his large hand on my head and presses it against his pec. I kiss his skin because it felt right to do that.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers.

"Why?"

"I hurt you last night."

"No. I was in the wrong for saying stupid shit like that. No harm done."

"Your feelings aren't stupid shit, baby. Please accept my apology."

"I have, and I still will. I appreciate you feeling bad, but so do I. I got attached so fast, and I know that's not a crime, but I took it really far really fast."

"That's what our relationship is in four words." Really far really fast. Yeah, that basically sums up our entire relationship.

"We okay?" I ask.

"We never weren't okay, if you ask me." I lean up and kiss him.

"Ain't y'all cute," Ross says in the doorway. I turn my head and chuckle.

"You are a creep," I joke.

"You should be a blushing mess, but you're playing this off really well. Calvin, did you replace Ben with a more confident clone?" I grab Calvin's dirty pants and hit Ross in the face with them. "Ahh! The testosterone! I'm melting!"

I burst into laughter as Ross tugs at the fabric and pitches back into my face.

"Hey," Agatha says almost in a whisper at the door. "The girls are going shopping if you want to go." She walks away, never connecting eyes with us. I wonder what's the matter with her. When I sit up to go after her, Calvin takes my wrist to stop me.