Chapter 19

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Well, Christmas happened to be quite different this year. I decided to go after all and it was not that bad. My whole family was very different this year with me.

We had actual conversations and played games all night. I never thought I would say this but they actually helped me. For one night, I was not thinking about him.

Today is Saturday, Cecil is in town so we are going out. Jasmine has invited us to go with her to this park. A park where bands play at night and they are food trucks all over.

This is the first time we are doing this since ages. Cecil's baby girl has grown so much. She looks so much like her and I can't wait till she grows up. I already want to embarrass Cecil by telling her stories about her mommy.

"You look great," I tell her and she rolls her eyes. Cecil always thinks I'm playing with her but she is pretty. Her hair has always been so pretty just like her. She has the perfect body and a very classy way of dressing up.

"Thanks, logan but Jasmine looks better." Well, when doesn't Jasmine look nice? She loves the attention, so she's always very well dressed up. Her make up is natural since she is naturally pretty. And her body well is still the same.

This girl eats so much and her body doesn't seem to grow. "Didn't you just buy a bag of Cheetos," I tease her laughing. She has stopped at every truck like really. Cecil is laughing because she knows it's true. Jasmine has been eating all night.

"What is to you bitch, damn," She says walking to buy some corn in a cup. The three of us walk over to the stand and wait for it. When I notice someone familiar.

"Logan is that...," I interrupt Cecil and walk over to him. When he walks quicker towards me. I'm imaging him because it can't be him.

My hand reaches his face and he looks down at me confused. This is all real, he's really here. "Tyler it really is you," I tell him with my hand still on his cheek. He smiles and pushes his head down towards mine. And he says:

"I'm back and I never expected you to come back," he says with desperation in his voice. And I close my eyes and tears begin to roll down my face.

"I came back and you were gone. We need to talk, I want us to be back. Tyler it's you, I love you," I tell him and my voice has cracked. When I open my eyes, everyone is staring at us. He pulls me in for a hug and I can hear him sob.

"Come with me," he says grabbing my hand. We walk over to a green army-type truck. And he opens the back of it, and we both get on it. " I went into the army because I didn't know what else to do. You were gone and everything just was just..," he says and I laugh. My laugh is somehow hysterical. The reasons I'm laughing is for that ugly hair cut he has. I didn't even notice that or that he has his uniform on.

"I'm sorry but I'm laughing at your hair," I tell him and he gives me a broken smile. The same smile I gave everyone for weeks while being here.

"Roger is the reason I came back. He was over there in New York, and we found each other. He told me about what you said to him. Your words somehow helped. I was so confused by what you told me, how you hated me. Everything was just so painful, and I could decide between Zack or you. When I discovered later, that I was using Zack all along. He was my shield but it didn't even work. Because here I am Tyler still in love with you. I love you." He is so quiet and it's making me anxious. My heart can't handle it anymore.

"I love you too and so fucking much," and with that I find myself kissing him. I'm somehow back to life again and I owe it all to him. This what I need it, him. We love each other and now we are sure about it.

                                    What can I say, we are complicated?

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