Chapter 10

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Second day,

Today, Zack is picking up at lunchtime so Tyler could sleep. He says that Tyler didn't sleep at all last night. I wonder if it was because of the pain or me.

Zack is already here for me and he looks way more different. I got a kiss, hug and a compliment from him. Sex really does make guys change.

"You are very happy today," he gives me a smile and says," I owe it all to you." With a wink, he gets down and opens the door for me. He gives me a big kiss and says goodbye.

Here I go again. This time I'm taking a big breath before walking inside. I hope Tyler is still asleep because I'm still having trouble breathing.

Julie! She is here. Her voice is impossible not to be recognized. Well, she looks different than the last time I saw her. Purple hair, piercings all over her face and dark clothes. Her top looks like a bra is she wearing a bra only?.

"Well, look who's back," she sneers getting up from my chair. I give her a fake smile back and take a seat. Tyler turns to look at me worry but then turns to look at her.

"He is thinking about changing caretaker just so you know," she says behind me. When I turn to look at Tyler, who is covering his face.

"Is that true Tyler?, I can leave if you want." He tries to stand up but fails. I turn to look back and see that she has left already. This girl really loves to mess with me and it's just sad.

"Are you going to answer me or should I go get her?" I tell him pacing back and forth. He stays quiet and something tells me it's true.

"It's fine Tyler it's better for me. I will talk to your uncle and Zack." Some things never change neither do people. This is still the same fucked up Tyler. And I'm so over it and it makes things easier for me.

"Julie insisted and since you are with Zack...I just didn't want to cause any problems," he says almost in a whisper but I was able to hear it all.

"You didn't care yesterday Tyler. What is going on?," I help him sit up and he begins to talk.

"I know. Yesterday, I had a talk with him. We decided to ask Julie if she wanted to. I asked and she said yes immediately. She came today because she was really worried about me. I told her you were taking care of me and she said how a bitch I was. Julie is right I only hurt you and just use you. You are always there just waiting for me to come. I don't want that you to do that anymore...I'm sorry," He says and I feel like the walls are crashing in.

Julie is right.

"Well, ouch I hate to admit it but it's true. I'm always waiting for you and it's so stupid. You know when I left, I couldn't stop thinking of you. Zack slept with me on the same bed and I still thought of you. We didn't have sex nor anything before you think wrong. I couldn't do that even if I tried too. Ever since I got back it's been worse. Every place or thing that I do or go too, memories of us come back to me." This good, we are finally speaking about how our feelings.

"I'm so sorry, I could never accept my feelings for you. I hated you because you confirmed it for me. Being gay is the worst for everyone so I tried to hide it. When I met you it was more obvious than before. I guess every time I hurt it you was because of that reason. I didn't want it to accept my feelings for you or that I'm gay. Zack has always been like that and I tried to use girls like he did. But I couldn't do it..." he grunts with tears rolling down his face.

For some reason, I'm starting to feel dizzy. His revelation is something I never expected. How could he do this to me?

"Eres un idiota."

We are both crying but I feel like it's worst on me. He made my life a living hell because he couldn't accept himself. Tyler is like that saying: " De las aguas mansas, librame Dios." Which means God free me from those who are evil but look innocent. I fell in those waters and drowned in them.

"I hate you and more because I love you." The truth always hurts and I want it the truth. We both need it this to end our pain, ironically, I'm in so much more pain now.

Reality usually sets in quick and this time it took its time. 

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