Dumbass akatsuki scenarios

hidan's birthday

This is a callable that I did with my sister, in honor of hidan's birthday, enjoy

-me-
* Hidan walks into the kitchen *
Hidan: " it's my birthday bitches, now strip!! "
* Everyone looks at him but cover their eyes, for hidan was naked *
Konan: " hidan why are you naked! "
Hidan: " cause it's my birthday so I'm in my birthday suit "

-Sister-

  Kakuzu groaned as he got up and went to his room.
Kakuzu: "I am not dealing with this." He said in his usual irritated tone. Hidan scoffed.
Hidan: "oí, you all have to spend the fucken day with me!"
Everyone froze then bursted out laughing.
Deidara: " yeah, sure hidan un."

- me -

Hidan: " what I'm not fucking kidding "
* Everyone look at him shock *
Pein: " you're serious "
Hidan: " yeah! "
Konan: " sadly he has a point, we have to spend the day with the jackass"
Kisame: " what you're kidding me!! "
Pein: " no and as a order we must  spend the day with hidan, sadly "
* Everyone groan and hidan smirks *
Hidan: " HELL YEAH LET THE FUN BEGIN BITCHES!! "

- sister -

Hidan: "I have the whole day planned out, first we're going to the strip club, because, why the fuck not. Second, we'll go to konoha-"

Itachi: " why Konoha?, Of all places?"

Hidan:" umm i'm sorry, is it your fucken birthday or mine?"

Itachi:" well, its yours..."

Hidan:" ex fucken actly now shut the fuck up and let me explain MY birthday plans!"

Itachi frowned but stayed quiet. Hidan cleared his throat before continuing.
Hidan:" anyways, before I was fucken rudely interrupted, where going to Konoha to go to their canteen I wanna get so wasted I can't find my way home."

Deidara:" shit, I hope you don't hn."

Hidan:" THE FUCK UP BLONDIE!!"

-Me-

Zetzu: " wait if you want to get drunk, so you can't find your way home, how are you going to get home? "
Hidan: " that's why you guys are going, so you can fucking help me "
Sasori: * mubles * " more like leave you "
Hidan: " what was that Pinocchio! "
Sasori: " nothing "
Hidan: " alright anyways, now let's get going bitches!!, Kakuzu get your wallet"
* Kakuzu groans but gets his wallet *
Kakuzu: " Your not allowed to spend more then 114 yen "
Hidan: " bitch I can do what I want "

- sister -

Itachi and konan stop hidan
Itachi:" before you even think about going anywhere, you have to put clothes on."

Konan nods and hands him his usual attire.
Hidan:" bitch what?, Where going to a fucken strip club!, I doubt that's against the fucken rules."

Konan and itachi look at one another.
Konan:" look hidan, Last time I checked just about every damn business has one simple policy, no shoes, no shirts, no service."

Itachi:" so with that being said you must get dressed in order to be allowed service to wherever you desire to go."

Hidan looked at the two of them a bit confused.

Hidan:" the fuck does that have to do with me?!"

*Everyone's sweat drops*

-Me-

Itachi: " just put the damn clothes on!! "
Hidan: " i'll do it only if "
Konan: " if what? "
Hidan: " you strip for me "
Itachi: " no, we're going to strip club already, now put your clothes on or we're not going "
Hidan: " what but it's my birthday "
Pein: " hidan if you don't put your clothes on we're not going "
Hidan: * groan's * " fine "
* He takes the pants, boxers, and Cloak and put them on *
Hidan: " you happy "
Konan: " very, now come on let's go "
* And they all walk out of the hideout to a strip club, when they get there it's pretty empty *
Hidan: " gentalmen and deidara, let's have some fun "
Itachi: " how did you even get in deidara? "
Obito: " yeah your only nineteen, how did you get in "
Deidara: " fake ID un "
Konan: " you blew him didn't you "
Deidara: " what?! No I yeah  hn"
* They all nod their heads  *
Hidan: " old fucker give me some one's "
Kakuzu: " Your going to pay me back for this "
Hidan: " yeah yeah now hurry up "
* Kakuzu sighs and gives him around thirty ones *