Hollywood Journey

Nervousness

The warm ocean breeze awakens me, forcing a smile as I think about where I am... at the beach, with my amazing husband, childless for the weekend, catching up on some much needed sleep. I turn to my other side, noticing that Brad is nowhere to be found in the mess of sheets surrounding us.

I throw on a light robe as I make my way to our balcony, looking out over it towards the beach. Nobody is out yet, leaving it for the perfect place to watch the remaining sunrise. Brad's sitting peacefully on a towel, shirtless, with his hot, messy hair whirling around his face. He eventually turns to see me, motioning for me to join him.

"Good morning, baby."

I sit in his warm embrace, leaning in for a kiss as he wraps me in his strong arms.

"I didn't think you would ever wake up. I even left the doors open and everything, I thought we'd enjoy the sunrise together."

I let out a slight sigh, looking around at the beauty surrounding me.

"We still have some time."

We sit there, calm as can be, wrapped in each other's arms as the scenery changes. The waves rush against the shore, crashing against the sand, leaving my toes slightly wet as I welcome the refreshing, cooling water.

Everything is so quiet, so peaceful and calming as we have nothing to say, but so much to think about. The last time we were here, a weekend I'll never forget, comes back to me in the most amazing memories. Taking that time to be with each other before starting our family was the best decision we could have make during a tough time.

"It's been five years since we've been here last..."

"And recently we've needed this more than ever before."

I silently agree with him, not wanting to ruin the mood. We thought life was hard then, and it was, but it doesn't compare in the slightest to what we have now. Nothing could have prepared us for everything we've been through, the good times and the bad, but we knew everything would be okay in the end. We knew because we had each other.

Sitting here, wrapped in his arms reminds me of that. He's supportive, loving, funny, kind, the best husband and dad I could have ever imagined, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard, or that we're perfect. It just means that I never need to worry about him not supporting me.

"This was a really good idea to come here before you leave again," He pulls me in closer as he speaks, "It's so chaotic when we're working, I feel like we never see each other. We needed this."

"I just hope everything goes well. I feel bad leaving you with all three of them."

"You don't feel bad, you're worried I can't handle it, which is ridiculous because I'm freaking amazing. I can handle anything."

"I know, I just worry, They're so annoying... and then cute, and it's hard."

I face him, focusing on all the features I fell in love with years ago, noticing how they're slowly fading into wrinkles and age spots, making me fall in love all over again. This time, with the content person he's become.

"I'm their dad. I can do this, I've learned so much from watching you, we'll be okay."

He almost sounds upset as he continues trying to defend himself, as if I think he's an idiot, which I obviously don't. I just know how he can be under pressure, and how he thinks funny is always best, normally leaving me with injured children or a destroyed house.

"I'll keep them away from fire and knives, I've learned my lessons with those already. I'll even make sure I put sunscreen on them before swimming, and maybe I'll remember that Zane only like the red floaties."

"You're right. You have this under control." I smile, leaning in for another kiss, melting under the soft touch of his lips, "But it's the green floaties, not the red."

"I was close enough."

He pulls my face closer, continuing the kiss as we fall into each other, eventually ending up laying in the sand. He pulls my robe off, using it as a pillow, leaving me in just my very see-through bra and panties, not leaving much to anyone's imagination.

"Ouch," He pulls away slightly, rubbing his back "We really are too old for this."

"Yeah I know, my neck hurts from leaning down so far."

We sit back up slightly, relieving our aching bodies as we stare out into the distance. He hands me back my robe,, throwing it over my shoulders as people start arriving.

"So what should we do next?"

"I don't know," I look at the time, trying to think, "We could get breakfast."

"No I mean what should we do next... as a family."

I think about the question for a while, not really knowing what the best step is for us with so much going on right now.

"We've always said we want to get the boys to Hawaii, maybe now would be a good time. Willow would love it too."

"Yeah, that would be nice. Cliff diving, swimming."

"We are not cliff diving. Our children can't even swim good yet, Brad."

"I'm just thinking of all the potential fun."

As more people get to the beach, we decide our quiet time is done and head back to the house. Brad runs out for some breakfast while I hang around, showering and changing into more "normal" clothing for the day.

"You changed," he walks back in with our food, unimpressed with my new outfit "Why? The other outfit was much better."

"Please, nobody wants to see that. Your kids sucked all the life out of me."

"Lies, but whatever. As long as I still get to see you."

I go through the bag, caring much more about stuffing my face with the deliciousness from the restaurant down the street than his remarks. I grab the pancakes before he has a chance to get them, leaving him with the sandwiches.

"Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome," he hovers over me, leaning in for a kiss "I love you."

"I love you too."