18. Like Romeo and Juliet

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Author's note: Yes, this is the last chapter in this story. I'm very sad that it's ending, but happy to put this out in the open for everyone to read. I really hope that everyone liked this story, and I can't wait until I upload my next story (Whichever one that may be). Thank you guys for all your support and everything, it means a lot to me. Thank you for reading! I hope you like the final chapter! :)

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"I'd like to thank everyone for making it here today. It means a lot that you could make it. Thank you, and I hope to see everyone at the funeral." Mrs. Edwards said. I stopped talking to Melanie and went over to the casket for one more time. I looked at her. Beautiful. Her hair was how it always was, her make-up looked the same, and her dress was beautiful. Her ring was still on her finger. I just wanted to hold her hand. I could've sworn she was smiling. I smiled at her wishing I could see those dark brown eyes just one more time. I realized that something was missing.

I ran to the car and grabbed it. I ran back inside right before the funeral home workers were about to close her casket. They opened it up and I put the picture in there. "Sir, you're not allowed to put anything in there." He said. "It's the picture of our babies. Our dead babies that are inside of her. Please. I'm begging you." I said. "Ok. We'll allow it." He said sounding sad at that. Not like it was his fault. He didn't love her like I did. He shouldn't freak out like I did. I got in my car and just felt like shit. I always do now. I called up Briar to hang out with. We agreed to meet each other at the mall. I changed my clothes inside my car because i'm too lazy to find a restroom and do it.

I drive to the mall and get us two sodas. I see Stephanie smiling with two pretzels in her hands. She's wearing ripped light blue jeans, black converse sneakers, and a pink ripped shirt over a black cami. Her hair is down, it's curly. She looks pretty. I'm just wearing a blue graphic t-shirt, jeans, and black sneakers. She sits next to me and I smile. "I got you a pepsi." I said. That's Tess' favorite drink. "Thanks. I got you a pretzel." She said acting all happy and bubbly. "Thanks." I said acting happy. I just stared at my food. I pushed it away. "I take it you're not hungry?" She asked me. "Not in the mood." I said, looking sad but feeling worse. "Hmm. Come on, you need to have some fun." She said. "Yeah I do." I said. I saw some guys whistle and wink at Briar. "Beating up douche bags is pretty fun. I could do that." I said. She smiled. "Yeah but then we'd get mall detention. Come on." She said. Stupid Carousel Mall, with stupid mall detention. We go to the carousel in the mall, the reason why it's called Carousel Mall, and I stop as Briar heads into line. Tess loves carousels. She turns around and walks to me. "What's wrong?" She asked. "On our first date, Tess and I rode the carousel like a million times. She loves them." I said. "Well then...um...we can't do laser tag, that's in another mall. You want to see a movie?" She asked me. "Yeah. We're going to see Hunger Games though, it's not going to be in theaters much longer." I said while smiling. It was genuine too.

We bought our tickets and snuck in our food. I saw her eating her giant pretzel and she looked at me when she was taking a bite, her mouth still on the pretzel and her eyes wide open liek she got caught doing something illegal. I laughed. I was actually happy. The movie was really good too. When it was over we talked about it. "All i'm saying is that Gayle is hot." She said. "Too bad, in real life he's dating Miley." I said. "Uh. Better then Selena." She said. "Why do you hate her so much?" I asked. "Her voice is so squeaky! I can't take her seriously!" She said. We laughed. She leaned in for a kiss but I avoided her. Tess was my last kiss. She'll always be my  last kiss. I looked at her feeling bad. She hugged me and it felt nice. It felt real nice. The kiss would've just been some kind of kiss of comfort or whatever, which I don't need. I think i'm fine now. I think I am.

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I saw her casket being lowered down into the ground and I was almost happy for her. She's in peace, she's happy. Her dad wasn't allowed to come to the funeral. Good. Before they buried it though Mrs. Edwards said I could throw a rose on her casket. It was at my feet when I placed it on her casket. I smiled and thanked her for that. That meant a lot to me. I wish Tess knew that her mom was actually really nice, she just hid it because of her husband. I waited until after everyone left to go to her grave. I put three roses on the newly formed ground. I looked at her grave. 'R.I.P Tess Rose Edwards: 2/10/1994-4/29/12. Angel. Died of abuse, but loved everyone more than herself.' Nice. I looked to the right of her name, which was technically her body's left side. 'R.I.P Michael Joseph Stevens: Conceived 2/12/12-4/29/12. Protecter.' Perfect. I looked to the left, Tess' body's right. 'Ava Maria Stevens: Conceived 2/12/12-4/29/12. Fighter." Perfect. Nothing but the best for them. I fall on my knees and feel the engraved names with my hands. I start crying. I scream. I hear silence. I saw a beam of light in the dark clouds, it's right on her grave. Either that's a coincidence or it's a sign. I see it start to rain, and the beam becomes brighter. I understand. I stand up and smile. I know what I have to do. I leave her grave and get into my car. I think about it.

Should I? Let me think. Without Tess i'm sad, angry, confused, and feel bad. With Tess i'm happy, loved, carefree, and feel nice. There are more reasons to stay here, but there are three great reasons up there that easily rule out any reason here. I think of what people would think of me. Only a few people would actually care if I left. Those who didn't miss me would judge me. I know that Alice thinks suicide is weak and selfish. It's not weak if i'll feel stronger after I do it. How is it selfish? You don't love me anyway. And it's selfish being here if i'm just depressed and want to be alone. It's selfish of me leaving them alone in heaven. I think it's decided. I'll do it tomorrow. I'm going to be dead in twenty four hours. I don't even think I want to do it, it just feels right. It's like i'm supposed to do this. I can't just leave everyone else just like that. I need to talk to everyone. In person too. I call Briar. I ask and beg her to throw a little party. She agrees and I feel so good. I give her the guest list and tell her the time for the party. We say bye and hang up. I can't just leave them like that. Not like how Tess left.

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I got to Briars house and we all just acted like idiots. We all laughed and screamed and had a great time. We eventually all sat around her fire pit and started talking. "So Blake. Why did you make Briar have this party?" Melanie asked. Tess was right. She is manipulative. "To cheer me up. Clear my head. The future is scary, so I want to talk about my past and clear my head. Say my opinions about you guys." I said. "Ok. Briar. You were my first friend. You're just amazing. That's all I can really say. You're funny, smart, cool, and a great friend. You're totally worth the bullet to the shoulder. And I like your outfits. And your singing voice. Thank you for all you've done." I said. "Dani. You took me in your house. You helped me prepare for my first date with Tess. You're like a sister to me. I hope you become like your mom. Keep dancing. You're amazing." I said. I went around and did everyone's like that. We all had fun and soon enough it was time to leave. I made sure I took a picture with everyone separately and in a group. I hugged everyone tight. "I love you guys. Bye." I said with a smile. I got into my car and drove off to my house. I left notes all around the house explaining what I was going to do and warning them for the sight. I knew it wouldn't be pretty. I wrote each note with care. I cleaned up my room and wrote my will. I said what I wanted them to do with my things. I wanted them to keep my notebook in a safe place, or show it to Briar. Whoever found the note first would decide, I guess. I'm sure she would rock my songs.

I wrote that I wanted to be buried next to Tess and my kids. I also wrote down what I wanted my engravment on my grave to say. I picked out a suit that I wanted to wear in the casket. I wrote down the most important part in my mind down. My thoughts. I finished it and put it on the floor. I took the pills from my cabinet and guzzled a ton down. I laid on my bed and felt the nerves in my body start tingling. I didn't like the feeling. I thought about Tess. My babies. I get to see them again. I love them so much. I can't wait to go to heaven.

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