Heaven

9. Slumber party

Tess' POV: Friday, December 9.

I decided to have a slumber party after Blake's romantic speech to his sister. Well, not to his sister, he didn't like serenade her or anything, that'd be weird. But how he talked about me to her. I feel like he's choosing me over his family and that's unfair to him. I just need to clear my mind of him and have a girls night. I invited Briar, Holly, Stephanie, Dani, Jasmine, and Melanie. It should be fun. My parents are still God knows where in South America. I was nervous that they might've died, but then I got a postcard from them. Aw. It was sent recently and they said they were coming home soon...again. I felt like it was going to be for real this time though. I wasn't sure if it was the christmas air or what, but I felt like they would be coming home. I hope they would come home soon.

Anyway, I heard the doorbell ring and I got up to see who it was. I saw Stephanie and Briar and let them in. We started to make a pizza because we were all starving. By the time we put it in, Dani, Holly, and Jasmine were all there. By the time we started eating, Melanie came. We all went upstairs in my room. We all decided to paint our nails and do makeovers, we were being so cliché. We started talking about people we didn't like, teachers we hated, and boys. "So Jasmine...how's Alex?" Melanie blurted out. "He's good." Jasmine said, smiling. "You should thank me for that. I created so many good relationships in my closet that night." I said. "Haha. Thanks." Jasmine said. Melanie always has a way of manipulating other people for her advantage. Whether it's dating guys during a contest so they get distracted and lose, blackmailing her parents for money, or whatever. She's still a friend though and never manipulates her friends, mostly because we don't let her. She's a pretty girl, dark brown hair and light blue eyes, she's the envy of all girls in our school. "So has anyone done the deed yet?" Melanie asked. Here we go.

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We get in a circle and decided to stop at whoever said yes to ask them questions about it. "No." "No." No." "Yes." Whoa what? It was Jasmine. "With who?!" Melanie asked. "Alex of course. The sweetie didn't even want too. It was completely my choice. And he's not one of those guys who left after he got it. He treated me so nice before it, and now he treats me like a Goddess after doing it. He deserved it and he earned it." Jasmine said. We all simultaneously said "Aww!". It was too cute. We got back to the list. "No." "Yes." It was Stephanie. "Really?" Melanie asked. I was shocked too. "Yeah. It was last year, with that asshole Taylor. He didn't ditch me though. After we did it I thought it would bring us closer together, but we fell apart. I dumped him. I loved him at the time, I don't regret it." Stephanie said. That's a good way to look at it. I debated on what to say. Should I say I did and lie about the story, or say no and look like a liar. I'd rather not explain what happened. "Your turn." Melanie said. "Uh, no." I said. I sounded like such a liar. Melanie just stared at me. She knows i'm lying. Great. just great.

We all get off the subject but Melanie still gives me these looks of doubt. I don't really care though. We have fun and stay up until almost three am watching scary movies. Me and Melanie are the last two people still up. Here we go. "You did it, didn't you?" She asked me. "Who really cares?" I said. "I can tell that you did it, but that you don't want to talk about it. Did anything bad happen?" She asked. I was so angry. "No, I didn't lose my V card. I don't know why you're so hung up on who is still a virgin or not. It's none of you're business, so unless you're contemplating on having sex, don't talk to me about it. Ok?" I said. "Yeah, sure, ok. I'm going to bed." She said frustrated. I hated being mean to her but I had too. I'm not telling anyone that I got raped before summer started.

I don't even think I cared about it honestly. I know it wasn't my fault, and it's not like I could've stopped him. I tried too though. I haven't even seen him since that night so it's not like i'll ever have a lawsuit against him or a breakdown when I see him. I told him I didn't want to but I didn't mind it after a while. I can't explain it. It's like I was fine with it happening, but I wasn't. Frankly, as long as it never happens again I don't care. As long as i'm doing it with someone I love, like Blake, i'll be happy. I just don't want him to do it to other girls. I don't care if I was fine with it happening. He's still a horrible person who made awful decisions. He's a monster for it. I wish...the worst for him. Now there's this pit in my stomach saying that I shouldn't have wished that for him. I almost feel sorry for him, and sorry for myself for being that low of a person. Maybe i'm the monster.