Abducted

Chapter fifty-five

NEVADA

Chaos. That's what my last months have been built up by. But the chaos is only inside my head. People asked me questions all the time. Do you want to send a tape back to your father? Why don't you do something with us? Have you been eating? Why aren't you sleeping? Why aren't you talking? But I can barely hear them from the chaos in my mind. It feels like I'm trapped in my own head, which now is on fire and I feel close to hell. For everything happy in my life, I come up with excuses. Oh, Wilson is coming soon? Yeah well, he probably doesn't even care anymore. He was never yours, to begin with. A stab in my heart. A wound ripped open. Oh, your mother was wonderful? Yeah, well your dad killed her. A stab in the heart. I've been waking up late, doing my work and then be eating by myself in my room. I have survived everything I have been through, so why does it feels like I have lost myself? I can't even remember the feisty girl I once knew, the strong person the foster years have shaped me into. One month until Wilson gets here. I'll hold onto that with an iron grip, even if it won't be the same because that's all that I have faith in. Why does it feel like I'm always being punished? Isn't my mind punishment enough? Mahaijla had talked to me about mental health issues, wanting to know more about it since they apparently don't have those struggles. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. 

There is knocking on my door but I just ignore it. I'm boiling water to make tea in the little kitchen in my little apartment. It had become my sanctuary where I can be alone. The knocking continues but I ignore it. I know I'm being ignorant and rude but I can't seem to move. If it's important the doors aren't locked anyways. 

"I'm coming in," Mahaijla shouts and comes bursting through the door and she gives me a quick hug. 

"Okay, you may want to shower," she says and starts drinking the tea I made for myself. 

"Why?" I ask her and sniff the air too see if I smell bad. 

"Yes, you smell bad, when was the last time you showered?"

"First of all, that is my tea," I say and she finishes the drink.

"It's just so good," she says and I can't help but chuckle and roll my eyes. It feels so foreign. I'm so glad I have her. 

"I want to show you something. It was broken when we got here but I fixed it a few days ago. I mentally slapped myself this morning when I realized I hadn't shown it to you," she says with excitement and take my arms and shake them for a bit. 

"Do I have to?" I ask in the nicest way possible. I have done my work, can't I sleep now?

"I will drag you out of this room by your feet if I have to," she says and crosses her arms. 

"That's not so nice, aren't you supposed to be the most harmonious people out here," I respond and mimic her movements.

"Let's go," she says and takes my hand and walk me out of the room. It's no idea to argue with her, she probably would drag me out of the room by my feet. I guess most people are having dinner so we don't come across anyone in the hallways. She stops in front of a room that I have never been in by the school. It looks different than the other doors and she needs a code to get in so I assume that it's important. She opens the door and I walk in, there are no windows and the only furniture is a big round metal circle standing on the ground and two chairs. She pushes a button and the metal circle lights up and she closes the door. 

"What's this? I learned the different shapes in the first grade. This is a circle." I say and sit down, she rolls her eyes at me. She walks to the chair on the opposite side of the metal thing and also takes a seat. She presses a button and a tablet rises from the metal and she starts typing. After a few seconds of silence, a hologram of a planet colors the air above the circle. It's blue and green and yellow. It isn't earth, it looks too different for that.

"This is Medaviha, our planet." She says. I realize I haven't asked what the planet looks like or even its name. 

"It's beautiful," I say and smile. 

"It's about half the size of Earth, the climate is warm. We only have one ocean in the middle of the planet and we only have one rainforest. We have many mountains though. That's why we have an extra pair of legs and arms, so before we got the technology we could climb fast," she says and the picture zooms in and shows a large mountain with what looks like houses on it. The picture switches to their ocean that is a bright color of green and then it changes to a field where food is grown. 

"It looks so peaceful," I say and she nods her head and smile. I see tears forming in her eyes but I don't comment on it. She never wants to show herself vulnerable. 

"I have really missed it," she says and pictures continues to fill my vision. This is the first time in months that peace calms my chaotic mind. I can have my own house, I can live my own life in harmony, trying to be a better person. I can have years and years of trying to build myself up to the person I want to be. Because she is a long way from me. But can I be her? I'm so fragile, so easily broken.

"I want the blood." It slips from my mouth like water and I look up and meet her gaze and she smiles at me. 

"You are going to be okay, Nevada. No matter what. You don't have to go through this alone," she says and I bite my bottom lip to keep away the tears and walk over to hug her. The emotional wall I have built up from all of these years is threatening to fall down. Those words she said is all I needed to hear even if I didn't know it until now. 

"Thank you," I say and she pulls me closer.

"I'm here, that's what family does." She says and we pull away.

"I need to tell you something," she continues.