Abducted

Chapter Twenty-three

I didn't die, I realize as I open my eyes and look around me to see the familiar room that has been my home for the past weeks. Its walls are now filled with anger and pain that I have been suppressing because I still had hope. I want to die, I hoped she had killed me. I don't have a life anymore, there is no hope for me because I'll never get out of here. I don't even feel sad or angry anymore, I just feel numb. Wilson and Murphy are leaning against the wall, looking at me with sadness in their faces. They are in the military, they should have stone faces. I don't want to deal with them right now, or ever really. I just want to be alone. 

"Nevada?" Murphy asks and walks toward me but I just turn to my side to show the I don't want to talk. They don't say anything after that and I'm thankful. I stare at the wall, I wish I was tired and could sleep because that's the only escape. 

After minutes or hours, I hear Murphy and Wilson leave the room and I'm finally alone. I stand up on my feet and look under the hospital gown that someone has put me in. There is a bandage over my stomach and I rip it open not caring about the stinging feeling it brings, she had shot me three times there and I stare at the spaces where the bullets have torn my skin open. I start screaming on the top of my lungs releasing all the pain, hurt and anger I have felt the past seven years. I start punching the wall as I'm screaming and then start kicking it and I barely feel the pain in my stomach. I run to the dresser and start throwing the books against the wall, one by one. I continue screaming and tears flow down my face like a waterfall. I start clawing at my body, I feel so trapped and it feels like I'm suffocating. Everything in my room is made out of metal so I can't even tear something apart like I desperately need. I start pulling my hair and fall down to my knees. They have broken me. I continue screaming and crying on my knees and pulling my hair and I can feel my scalp getting wet with blood. Suddenly I feel strong arms around me.

"Stop hurting yourself!" Someone says and holds my arms in place at my sides but I can't place the voice over my screaming. I stand up and turn around and start punching and kicking the person in front of me not caring who it is. 

"Leave me alone!" I continue screaming as loudly as I can. My hands are pulled together in a tight grip so I can't punch the person but I can't just stand still. They have tortured me, hurt me, they have killed me in a way. I twist and turn fast trying to get the person to let me go and a hand covers my mouth and I feel the warm breath of someone as they whisper.

"It's me Nevada. Please calm down." I hear that it's Wilson as I stop screaming and I fall back on my knees but he sits down next to me and puts his arms around me, holding me tight. The weakness in my body keeps me from standing up and continue with trying to destroy the room. Instead, I just lean to him and cry and I'm surrounded by darkness.

I'm rooming freely in the hallways in the base so I know its a dream. But everything feels so real, from the brightness off the lights to the smell of sanitizer. 

"Nevada, come here!" I hear a voice say. Mom? It can't be.

"We are here!" Dad? I start running towards the voices. Feeling a desperate urge to be with them, they are so close.

"Where are you?" I scream and try to find them as I run through the halls, but everything looks the same. Until suddenly the infirmary is in front of me and I stop running.

"In here, sweetie." My mom says and I walk into the room where so many of the experiments have taken place. My mom and dad are on their knees with their hands behind their heads. Doc is in front of them with a gun in each hand pressing it against their temples.

"Stop! Don't!" I scream and try to shove her away from my parents but she doesn't move an inch. I start crying when I see my moms face filled with tears. I push myself in front of them and that's when Doc looks at me and smirks and points the gun at my temple instead and pulls the trigger.

"Hey, wake up." I open my eyes to see Murphy standing over me, shaking my shoulder. A part of me wants to snap at him for waking me, sleep is the only thing keeping me out of this hell and the other want to thank him for bringing me back from that dream.

"You need to eat." He says when I just look at him and I lay back against my pillow. I'm not hungry, I just want to be alone. How long would it take for me to starve to death? Death has always been so close to me after my parents died, but I have never wished to die before. I have always thought highly of life, that it's something to be cherished. But now, what's the point? I will never get out of here.

"I get that you want to be alone and I will leave if you don't tell me now that you want me to stay. But you need to eat, you need to be strong." He says and I can feel his gaze on me but I just look at the wall and don't answer him.

"I will be back in a few hours and if you haven't eaten we will have to force you." I can hear the pain in his voice. I should have just stayed away from him in the first place. He puts the tray he is holding on the dresser and walks out. I sit up and walk to the bathroom, pee and brush my teeth. I undress and walk into the shower and I see that my bandage is changed. For the first time in weeks, I truly look at my body. My knuckles are bruised from punching the walls yesterday and my feet ache. I'm too skinny, I can see my ribs and the sight makes my eyes water and I shower quickly so I can put clothes on and hide. I don't even care about the bird nest that is my hair and walk into the room. Wilson is sitting on the floor, reading a book and when I get out he gives me a weak smile and I sit down on the bed and look at him.