Finding love as an asexual teenager is hard enough. Being an anonymous internet celebrity? Even harder, but it's fun as long as it stays anonymous. Eve didn't expect her Twitter account to blow up, and now that 'DukeCockroach' has millions of follow...
After the fake intervention, my family proceeded to ask Gilbert normal questions. Where he came from and what his family was like and what he liked doing in his free time and all sort of things. He avoided or lied about most of them, because he didn't want them to know that he lived alone because his parents didn't give a shit about him. Some things were better left for later.
Hugo, Dylan and Floyd got along well with him too. They found they actually had a lot in common, which brought a little smile to my face. But when my parents left to get the last course from the kitchen, my brother and his boyfriends started their own conversation with one another, so Gilbert took the opportunity to lean close to me and whisper, "They don't seem like they're... you know, together."
"Why?" I said with a smirk. "Were you curious to see how they'd act? How it works with three people? It's really not that special. Besides, they were friends for a long time before they got together, so this is basically what they act like most of the time."
"Oh. Makes sense, I guess."
"Just wait for the bedroom eyes, because they can be quite touchy," I murmured, watching Hugo from the corner of my eye because he was no longer talking with his boyfriends. But he still scowled at me and said, "Stop exposing me."
Clearly, I hadn't spoken soft enough.
"I don't see you denying it," I replied, shrugging and slipping a piece of my parents' fancy meat into my mouth.
"Denying what?" Floyd asked, now interested as well.
"That we're, you know... touchy."
Floyd smiled and leaned over to kiss Hugo's cheek, which turned red. As well as the other cheek. Even his ears and neck turned a deep crimson. He pulled Floyd's hand—which I hadn't even noticed he'd moved—away from his leg, and hissed, "Don't you dare touch me at the fucking dinner table, Floyd."
He only kept smirking. Sneaky bastard.
And Dylan casually told him, "Wait till tonight, Floyd."
"Ew, we're having dinner," I said, pulling up my nose. "Please stop talking about this. And please tell me you're leaving the house."
"Where do you want us to go?" he asked. "My father's house?"
"I hope none of you are suicidal enough to go back to that hellhole."
"Wasn't planning on it," Hugo mutters, stabbing a potato.
"My place is empty," Floyd announced cheerfully.
Before anyone could respond, my parents emerged from the kitchen and there was no more room for dirty talk. Gilbert looked amused, but made no further comments. I'm sure he was convinced.
Hugo and Floyd had fantastic tales of disastrous love triangles among college friends and Mom and Dad had far too much love for their dessert, and I was happy to just listen and smile at Gilbert whenever he caught my eye. It was nice to have everyone here.
"Hey, when are you gonna do the thing?" Gilbert asked.
I scooped the last bit of ice cream out of my bowl and looked up at him. "What thing?"
"You know what thing."
Yes, I knew... "Twitter."
He nodded.
"Tonight."
I wanted to do it after dinner. I would be alone in my room and I would have all the time and peace to mentally prepare. Maybe Gilbert could help with the filming. Although... should I get Hugo there too? He was known among millions of people as DukeCockroach's brother after all.
"Hugo?"
He turned his head towards me. "Yeah?"
"So you know I'm doing the reveal thing today, yeah? Do you want to be in the video, too?"
"That might be a good idea," Mom said.
Hugo frowned. "Why would I want to be in your reveal video?"
"Because you're DukeBroCock."
"Yeah, but..." He trailed off and then shrugged. "I mean, people are going to figure out who I am either way, but sure."
"What about us?" Floyd asked.
"You can't all be in my video!" I exclaimed. "Besides, I doubt that's a good idea. Would you introduce yourselves as Hugo's friends? Or do you want the whole world to know you're his boyfriends and that you guys are all in a polyamorous relationship?"
"Yeah, let's not do that," Hugo said quickly, Floyd nodding fervently as he realized his mistake. "We're perfectly fine with keeping all that a secret. No one else but close friends has to know. As far as they know, I have one nameless boyfriend."
Dad nodded approvingly. "That seems best."
"Alright," I said, taking a deep breath. "It's settled then. From this day forward, DukeCockroach and DukeBroCock will have a name and a face."
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