In Real Life ✓

28. Apology Videos

Mom barely commented on Gilbert's house when she came to pick me up, but she did stare at it for a while, in that way only Mom could stare at things. She'd probably been hoping for Gilbert himself to come out, but for some reason, he didn't want to. He said it was because I had to hurry if I wanted to be on time for the meeting with the agent, but I got the feeling he just didn't want to meet my parents just yet. Fucking pussy.

I suppose I wasn't the only one waiting for Christmas.

"So... Gilbert's parents are well off?"

"Yes," I replied dryly, watching Mom adjust the rearview mirror with pursed lips. I wouldn't tell her anymore about Gilbert's family or his background unless he gave me permission to do so. I hadn't forgotten his warning about 'legal reasons'. Then again... it might be something we'd have to discuss with the agent eventually? Perhaps.

"Who's the agent?"

"Her name is Charlotte Matthews and she's from an agency that specializes in social influencers like you. She seemed nice."

"Sounds good."

Charlotte Matthews had one of those dark, playful bob haircuts that looked like it came out of a TV commercial and sparkling blue eyes. People always say 'don't judge a book by its cover', but fuck that. I already liked her. She seemed like a really pleasant person. She offered me her hand with a bright smile and said, "Good evening! Eve, right? I'm so sorry you had to come here on such short notice, but I have to leave tomorrow and your mother said you wanted to get this done as soon as possible."

I nodded and sat down on the chair that she waved at. "Yeah, I was planning on doing something on Christmas, so..."

"Christmas, huh? That is rather soon indeed. Very well. Let's see what we can do before that." She gave me another smile and interlaced her fingers on top of her stomach. "Would you mind explaining the situation to me? Because your mother did tell me some things, but I'm sure you can give me a much more complete image. You're big on Twitter, right?"

"Yes, uh..." I looked to my mom. "Did you tell her my username?"

She shook her head and Charlotte added, "She only said you had a few million followers."

"Okay, well..."

I wasn't sure if I should tell her. It was still a secret, but this was her job, so I should be able to trust her, right? My parents had done their research and everything. Gosh, I hated all this paranoia... Then again, if I was going to out myself in a week anyway, it wouldn't make much of a difference if somebody happened to leak it in a few days, so whatever.

I pointed at the laptop in front of her. "Can I show you?"

"Sure!" she said, quickly turning the laptop ninety degrees so I could type in the URL, before she peered at the screen thoughtfully and let out a light chuckle. "Wow, a few million is an understatement. I have to say.... I never thought I'd have DukeCockroach here in my office. It's an honor to meet you."

"Uh... thanks, I guess," I replied shyly. I knew I'd have to get used to it soon if I was going to go public, but I really wasn't prepared to be regarded as some sort of... celebrity. I guess it wasn't so much of a big deal with my friends because they already knew me.

Although, to be honest, it was also kind of amazing. It was thrilling to know that people had respect for me simply for some... comedy. For some jokes and some sarcasm. How crazy.

"What are you planning then?" Charlotte asked.

"I want to go public."

"Oh, I see... Yes, I can see why you would want to get an agent then. And you're probably looking for a way to make some cash with this, too, I presume? It will be quite easy to do with such a large following. Merchandise and the like."

I nodded with a smile. That was exactly what I wanted.

"Well, of course I would love to represent you!" she said, grinning excitedly. "Do you wanna go over what we can do for each other if we decide to draft a contract?"

"Sure."

Charlotte told my mom and me all about the specifics of signing a contract with her agency and what I would get out of it, and it all sounded fantastic, honestly. More than fantastic. The thing I was most excited about myself was the merchandise. I was already getting ideas for designs and, even more so, looking forward to the reaction of my followers. They were going to fucking love it.

We eventually came to an agreement, and after taking a look at the agency's example of a contract, we decided together which things could be kept and which things would need to be changed (if the agency allowed it). Charlotte said she'd have the contract done in a few days so I could sign it before Christmas, if I wanted to. I could still decline whatever she'd send my way, so I was feeling pretty confident about the whole thing.

I still had many questions, though, so I spent a whole hour asking her about literally anything I could think of, just to make sure I had everything covered. Thankfully, Charlotte told me the agency wasn't going to censor my Tweets or anything like that. It would be rather annoying if I had to send everything to them to read before I could post it. She did say that I might have to ask for permission for bigger things though—like giving my opinion on controversial topics and posting revelations related to merch and stuff. I didn't think I'd have any problem with the latter, because I was pretty good at keeping secrets, but the former... I hoped I would remember to ask them.

"What about my old Tweets?" I asked eventually.

"Do you think you might have said some things that you don't want anyone to know?"

"I already tried deleting as many stupid Tweets as possible, but I might have missed some... I have thousands of them after all, and I keep seeing these apology videos of people who said something bad like seven years ago, so I'm afraid they'll dig something up anyway."

"Dear Lord," Mom sighed. "Do these people have no life?"

"No, Mom, they really don't."

"How pitiful."

"Well, if you don't mind deleting things, you can just get a bot that automatically deletes your older Tweets," Charlotte suggested.

"Oh, that sounds like a good idea. Can't believe I haven't thought of it myself, actually," I chuckled to myself, before humming thoughtfully as I tried to think of more questions to ask, but we'd pretty much talked about everything at this point... What more? "Oh, one more question. How do you think I should do the reveal?"

Charlotte blinked in surprise and replied, "I thought you were just going to post a picture of yourself or something."

"Well, it's kind of a big moment, so I should probably make it a bit more spectacular than just... a selfie."

"Hmm, you're right. How about a video? You can film yourself officially introducing yourself and all that."

"Will I have to show it to you first then?"

"Nah, there's no need for that," she said, waving a hand around. "There's not much you can do wrong with an introduction, is there? I doubt anyone is going to get you banned from Twitter for saying your name."

"Alright, I'll film something then... God, I'm already nervous."

"Don't worry! This will be the start of something amazing!"