In Real Life ✓

16. Mean Girls

Ha ha, I am so funny.

I must have been a fucking idiot for thinking I could reveal my internet identity without somehow fucking myself over in the process! There was no way in hell it would go well.

So, yeah, okay, I chickened out, and Leslie and Tamara were quite frustrated with me. They kept asking me, "When are you gonna do it?" and I kept saying, "Soon," while all I kept thinking was never. I knew it was probably just the anxiety and paranoia talking, but I was honestly absolutely terrified of admitting to all of it. Of revealing that I'd been the one to badmouth Player Extraordinaire Davey, and Ass-kisser Brienne, and worst of all, Felicia. The Bitch. The moment this information got out, she'd destroy me. Sure, I could deal with it—nobody could beat me at my own game—but I'd just... rather not. That's all. I'd rather not.

"Eve."

I glanced at Tamara. "Soon."

They didn't even have to ask anymore.

They knew.

I wasn't one to admit that I was scared—I might have never even done it in my whole life, now that I think about it... I just wasn't scared and I had to keep up that image, you know?

No, not really. I liked living life as a big, depressing, cruel, but laughable joke, and they knew that. Hence the surprise when I actually got serious and showed emotions for once.

"Eve, please. Soon was twenty-two years ago."

I quickly threw a bone at them. "Did I tell you I'm going on another date with Gilbert yet?"

Leslie bit and squealed, while Tamara asked, "Why do you call him Gilbert anyway? Everybody calls him Gibbs."

"I call him Gilbert because everybody calls him Gibbs."

"Hipster."

"Is that... supposed to be an insult?"

"I don't know. You're the one with the quick wit. I stopped trying years ago. How's it going with Gibbs anyway? I saw you guys talking earlier."

I shrugged. "I guess it's going well."

There wasn't much to tell. After our date, we'd talked occasionally and cracked jokes with each other in class and all that, but we were still... I don't know. Could that question even be asked after such a short time?

"I'm happy for you!" Leslie said. "And you too, Tamara!" She elbowed her in the side. "Hooked up with Darren yet?"

Chill, girl... They went on one date. What's up with these two?

Tamara's face went beetroot red. "No! We barely even kissed!"

"Ooh, so you've kissed!"

"Do you and Gibbs kiss?"

"Maybe."

The answer came from behind me, and I immediately whirled around to glare at the boy who'd said it.

Gilbert.

Oh, we did not kiss! At least, not after that one time. Speaking of... I was surprised he hadn't brought it up yet.

Leslie let out another one of her squeals.

"You do?" Tamara said. "I thought you..."

"Gilbert, how about you shut your mouth?" I pressed my hand over his mouth, which made him frown, and I turned back to Tamara, who barely managed to keep in a snort.

"He didn't know," I added. "You know."

They nodded in understanding. They knew. They might not be able to relate to my sexual preference (or the lack thereof), but they understood what it meant and accepted it. I had some pretty great friends after all. And I wasn't being ironic for once.