In Real Life ✓

31. Cash Me Ousside Howbow Dah

When Gilbert finally rang the doorbell—twenty minutes later—I hurried over to the door before anyone else could. I didn't want to imagine my parents opening up for him and making it awkward or my brother or... anyone really. I just wanted to welcome him all by myself. He was standing on the doorstep with red cheeks from the cold and some kind of dust in his hair. Flour? Cocaine?!

"Please tell me that's flour in your hair."

"Oh, yeah," he said, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "Like I said, I tried to make something."

"Why?"

"I was bored because I woke up way too early and I know your parents like cooking and baking and stuff, so... I don't know... I thought it was a good idea to bake them something. I don't really know why I thought that. I'm clearly not meant to be a baker."

"You're an idiot," I said, but I couldn't fight the smile on my face. He was adorable without even knowing it...

"Thanks."

"Come here." I reached for his arm to pull him towards me, and wiped some flour off his brow, before reaching up to plant a kiss on his lips. That made him smile, and damn, it only made him even more adorable.

"You look pretty by the way," he said. "Red looks good on you."

I looked down at the frilly top I'd put on and shrugged. I normally didn't wear clothes like these, because t-shirts and hoodies were all I needed, but I figured a special occasion such as this one called for a special outfit. And red was my favorite color.

"Thanks, I guess."

"I bet you'd look great in one those super long red dresses. You know, like the ones with a split on the side? And a pair of high—"

"Okay, Gilbert," I said, rolling my eyes at him. I knew he was stalling. "Let's go in."

"Wait."

"What?"

"Good luck kiss?"

"I just gave you one."

"I want another one," he said with a crooked smile, before wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me closer. I gave in with a sigh and laid my arms on his shoulders. He grinned and dipped his head down to press his lips to mine.

It was one of the few times he actually initiated a kiss, even though I told him to just kiss me whenever he felt like it (as long as it wasn't in public, because fuck PDA). He was still very careful around me. I wasn't sure if it was because he genuinely thought that I would get uncomfortable or if he was just constantly holding back. He would never tell me—

"Well, well, seems like the boyfriend is real after all."

I immediately detached myself from Gilbert to glare at Dylan, who raised his hands as if I were pointing a gun at him. I might as well have. Stupid Dylan walking in on me and my boyfriend.

"Hey, I just came to take a piss."

"The toilet is over there," I told him.

"I know," he said with a chuckle, before reaching for the door handle. As he shut the door behind him, I explained to Gilbert, "That's Dylan."

"One of your brother's boyfriends?"

I nodded. "The other is in the living room. You ready to meet them and the parents now?"

"No."

"Awesome." I took his hand and pulled him through the door, despite his resistance. "Good evening everyone, here is the long-awaited arrival of Gilbert, my boyfriend."

"Eve, don't say it like that," he groaned.

"How nice to finally meet you, Gilbert," Mom said, shooting up from the couch with a bowl of potato chips in her hands. "Make yourself at home!"

"O-oh, thanks," he replied awkwardly, taking a chip out of the bowl when she kept holding it in front of him. "You can call me Gibbs though. Eve is the only one who calls me Gilbert."

Hugo laughed. "Why does that not surprise me?"

I introduced Gilbert to everyone and pulled him down next to me. For a few minutes, he merely observed, listening and looking, but my parents wouldn't let him get away with being a silent pillow on the couch. They'd decided it was time to ask questions. You know, the questions.

"So, Gibbs..." Dad cleared his throat.

"Yes?"

"What are your intentions with my daughter?"

While Gilbert's eyes went wide as saucers, I snorted so hard I choked and coughed up a few potato chips, and I watched my dad squinting at Gilbert with that twitching mouth that told me he was just trying to keep in his laughter. My parents already knew what his intentions were. I'd talked about it with them a while ago, because Mom was curious if he knew about my asexuality. So they knew that he knew, and that he was a decent boy.

Besides, if having sex with me had actually been his only goal, I'm sure he would have given up long time ago.

"Um, I-I don't..." he stammered. "I just..."

"Yeah, Gibbs, what are you planning to do with my little sister?" Hugo added. "I hope you're not taking advantage of her."

"We'll beat you up," Dylan said with a low voice while crossing his arms, showing off his muscles.

Floyd copied him. With his little stick arms.

"N-no, I..."

"Come on, guys, stop scaring the boy," Mom scolded them. "Don't worry, Gibbs, they're just messing with you. We know Eve would never date a loser like that."

He let out a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, I'm not a loser."

"That sounds convincing," Hugo said.

"Oh, stop it," I sighed. "If anyone here is a loser, it's you."

"We all know Dad is the biggest loser."

Before Dad could protest, Mom said, "True."