In Real Life ✓

24. 5/7

Travis had never actually seen what Gilbert looked like, since I rarely ever took pictures at all, so when I sent him the group picture we'd made at the movies, he felt compelled to tell me that I'd sent him 'a fucking goldmine'. He asked who everyone was and then gave a 500K word essay on each person.

He also said what he thought of 'Gilbie' in terms of... rating. He gave him a nine and a half (only because he was a little too thin to be a ten), and Darren and Tony both got sevens. Apparently, according to Travis, my boyfriend was 'model-worthy hot'.

Before I could ask what rating he'd give me, he said that I was an eleven and then sent me a winky face. Typical.

Then he changed it to a 5/7 and I told him I was fucking done with him, but we still spent the following hours talking about memes and Netflix shows and classmates and our plans for Christmas.

But I didn't tell him that I'd kissed Gilbert. That was my own little secret. Especially since I was still kind of... shook. I really didn't expect to like it. Since little, eleven-year-old me found out that kissing could lead to... well, you know, all that stuff that grossed me out then and still very much grossed me out now, I'd always associated kissing with sex, even if I knew perfectly well that that wasn't the only reason why people kissed. An irrational fear, I suppose. So I was pretty happy that I could still enjoy it, despite not being interested in sex.

I'm sure Gilbert would agree, too.

Eventually, my go-to-fucking-bed-Eve alarm went off and I reluctantly put my phone away. There was a time (summer break) when I would stay up till way past midnight, because my followers on Twitter were online 24/7, being all over the world, but I didn't particularly enjoy feeling like a zombie during school hours. Especially if that meant studying my ass off later because I hadn't been paying attention to my classes. Yeah, I could be responsible sometimes...

I still couldn't sleep, though.

I kept thinking about Gilbert, and about the date of my name reveal, only weeks away... Things were changing.

My life would never be the same.

The next morning, I poured cereal, milk, and after a nostalgic little smile, some chopped up chocolate into my bowl, and took a seat at the breakfast table with my mom. She was reading a newspaper while squeezing grapes into her cheeks, but I needed attention. I needed validation. "Mom."

"Yeah?" she said absent-mindedly.

"So I was thinking..."

"M-hm?"

"I want to go public."

"What do you mean?" she mumbled.

"Well, you know... DukeCockroach. I want to tell everyone that the account belongs to me."

She finally put her newspaper down and stared at me as I shoveled my cereal + chocolate in my mouth. Finally. Attention. She swallowed her grape and asked, "Are you serious about that?"

I nodded.

"Well, it's your account, so you should do with it whatever you want, but... You do know it's not just a matter of saying 'hi I'm Eve' and that's it, right?"

"Yeah, of course, I've thought of the consequences. I know people will treat me differently and all that, but I'm sure it'll be fine. I don't think—"

"No, honey, I mean..." She slid the newspaper to the edge of the table before explaining, "The whole world will know your name, and because of that, they will find out how to contact you and they will try to get in touch with you. They might even try to take advantage of your popularity. You won't be protected by your anonymity anymore. Neither will your brother, since you dragged him into this as well."

"I won't let them take advantage of us," I groaned, annoyed by her paranoia. I rolled my eyes at the worried frown on her face, but she didn't let that sway her. She shook her head disapprovingly and said, "I think you should get an agent."

"Mom, I don't think so."

"I think you do, honey. You have to be safe."

"I have you guys, don't I?"

She smiled and reached out to stroke my hair. "We can't do everything for you, honey. What if something happens that will require legal help? We're no lawyers. And hey, maybe you can even earn money from this if you get someone to help you with that."

I stabbed my cereal with my spoon, causing the milk to splash over the edge, and wiped the drops away with my fingers as I thought of what happened last year, with Joe. I was lucky I could solve that problem by going to the principal, but it had almost required legal help...

"Fine," I muttered.

She was right, of course. Moms were always right.

Besides, the idea of earning money with it sounded pretty good. Maybe I could finally even get merch and do fan meet-ups. That'd be cool. I'd seen people asking for t-shirts with my name and my iconic quotes on it many times, so they'd definitely appreciate that.

"Dad and I will go look for someone, alright?" said Mom.

"Alright," I agreed.