concept
where tyler and josh have to make up and get on common grounds
josh spent the whole night crying.
he always thought of tyler as a caregiver, someone he trusted, but he just.. left. josh couldn't bring himself to ask tyler what happened or if he went out to get eggs or anything. he just accepted the fact that tyler hated him and they would never talk again.
josh knew it was unlikely, considering they were going to start their tour up again in a week, but his anxiety was so bad that he couldn't think anything positive.
josh spent days cuddled up with debby.
he wouldn't go out and work out, run, box, anything. he just laid in bed, slumped over his phone.
he blinked slowly as he watched videos about tyler and josh's friendship. he didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face until he couldn't see.
he refused to regress at all. whenever he caught himself regressing, he would lock himself in a room and force himself out of it. even though it was emotionally draining, he knew he had to stay big. he couldn't regress.
he started to feel like a burden.
all of tyler's words burned into his head. he couldn't think straight.
he was locked in the bathroom
for the third time this morning. he was so close to regressing, he was considering just letting himself. he couldn't, though. all he could think about is tyler yelling at him. he cried again.
« josh? are you okay? » debby said through the door. josh shakily looked up at the door.
« y-yeah, » josh's voice cracked.
josh always hated lying. it was forged into his head that lying was a sin and it was wrong, but at this point, josh could care less. he just wanted his friend and caregiver back.
« can you open the door? i want
to talk? » debby said softly. josh nodded and unlocked the door. he opened it and looked up at debby, since he was still sitting on the ground.
debby leaned down and held josh.
the older cried harder into debby's neck as she hummed a little tune. she pulled away and kissed his forehead.
« you haven't regressed in almost a week, » debby said softly. josh nodded as he looked down at his lap.
« tour starts again in a couple days.. i thought this would be the best time for you to regress, » debby mumbled. she knew josh needed to regress more often than he got to and she hoped this would be the time.
« 'm sorry, » josh mumbled.
sorry turned into his default response to anything. even if it was positive, he always said i'm sorry. debby started to get worried about the boy only a couple days ago. she just thought this was a process, but she realized how close the two were and that josh felt betrayed.
« don't be sorry, baby, » debby cooed.
she tried to baby talk to him a lot to get him to regress, but it didn't work. josh sighed and wrapped his arms around debby.
« i miss ty-ler, » josh stuttered.
he cursed at himself silently for almost saying ty instead of tyler. debby noticed how josh stumbled over his name and sighed too. she shut her eyes as josh put almost all his weight on her.
« you should call him. he probably
feels the exact same way, » debby said in a soft tone. josh shook his head.
« he hates me, » josh mumbled.
