where josh is anxious about
coming back and tyler tried to convince him otherwise.
it was july. josh was at tyler's house
since he was in town and they haven't hung out in a while. josh laid on the couch and tyler sat across from him.
josh scrolled through twitter and
he sighed. he put down his phone and looked over at tyler with sad eyes. tyler looked back and tilted his head.
« they're losing hope.. » josh said
sadly and tyler chuckled and shook his head with a smile.
« no they aren't, we'll be coming back soon, » tyler smiled at josh. the shorter shook his head.
« but they don't know that, » josh
said and he pulled a pillow onto his chest and he coddled it.
« one if nobody comes to our shows a-and they just forget about us all together, » josh mumbled sadly. he looked at tyler.
« they aren't.. » tyler said and looked away. josh sighed in frustration.
« you don't know that, tyler. not everybody likes you being cryptic. it gets annoying after a while. i mean, imagine if your favorite band went missing for a month and spent half of it making an obscure website in a fucking gif. wouldn't you lose hope? » josh said and tyler looked down at his phone.
tyler bit his lip and brought his knees
to his chest. josh huffed and rolled over, facing away from tyler. the taller man looked down sadly and his lip quivered.
« yeah, when i say it like that, it
sounds fucked up. i really don't think you realize how annoying it can be when you do nothing but be cryptic. if you were yourself sometimes, maybe you wouldn't seem so off putting. » josh huffed.
he hated the thought of having to
start over. he doesn't even know how they got to this point, how could they restart? tyler stood up and walked off to the kitchen, deciding to make some ramen.
josh shut his eyes and sighed.
he rolled around on the couch and listened to tyler tapping 2:30 into the microwave.
they were originally going to watch
dexter together, but clearly josh was in a bad mood. tyler didn't blame him. he hasn't been out as much as he liked to, he's been stressed about making everything perfect for their upcoming shows and he's been practicing his drumming for hours everyday until he was about to collapse from exhaustion. tyler felt bad.
he knew he overworked himself,
but was he overworking people around him? he wanted to cry for the first time in months. he was scared. he was so fucking worried that everything would go wrong and they would have to start again.
he was snapped out of his
thoughts when the microwave beeped. tyler trudged over and opened it, taking out the ramen and added the flavor packet. josh sighed.
« sorry if i was being rude, » josh said softly, still turning his back to tyler. he looked down with a frown.
« i.. i just always found that type
of stuff interesting. i didn't know that people found it annoying, » tyler said and stirred the ramen with a fork. josh shook his head and held the pillow tighter.
« people don't find it annoying.
it's really cool. most bands don't do this type of stuff for their fans.. » josh said and rolled over. tyler nodded and picked up the hot bowl.
he sat down next to josh and he
turned on the tv. he opened up netflix
and went through the different shows, deciding on dexter.
—
they watched it with little interest.
josh was still worried about coming back in the way they were. josh wasn't watching the show, instead he just stared at the tv and daydreamed about what the shows would look like.
he imagined empty arenas and disappointed people. all of them mad at josh for not doing well, even if they were in front of nobody. he imagined tyler quitting and ending twenty one pilots. leaving josh with a failed dream again. he was a fool for not having a plan b.
he didn't even realize he had tears streaming down his face until tyler was leaned in front of him. he had his hand on josh's jaw as he wiped away his tears. josh leaned into the touch.
« you okay? » tyler asked softly.
josh nodded and leaned up. he started wiping his own tears and he leaned back against the couch. he stared at the wall again. he didn't like the thought of disappointing people.
« josh, tell me what's wrong, » tyler said and held josh's hand.
even though their relationship was
100% platonic, josh felt his tummy flutter in happiness. he sighed and pulled his hand away, running it down his thighs. he looked away from tyler.
« i was thinking.. about nobody
showing up, » josh said. tyler sighed and nodded. josh looked towards tyler and felt his tummy erupt again.
« o-or disappointing our manager, or my family, or you... » tyler felt tears well up in his eyes too.
he felt bad. he didn't know josh
was so scared of disappointing him or his family. josh knew he didn't have a plan if all of this got flipped and everything turned to shit.
« josh, you'll never disappoint me.
you know that, » tyler rubbed josh's thigh. josh nodded sadly.
« how are you feeling right now? » tyler asked. josh thought.
« i-i feel funny, » josh crossed his legs.
« funny? » tyler asked again, hoping josh would explain.
« i don't think that i would exactly call
it love, but it's something along those lines, » josh said and looked down. tyler nodded.
« but i-it really feels like it. kinda in a friendly way? » josh said and tyler pulled him into a hug.
« you should write it down or draw it if you can't explain it, » tyler said. josh nodded, knowing that was how tyler told him how he felt.
josh grabbed a random piece of
paper on the coffee table. he took a pen too and quickly wrote down something like a poem.
i don't think that i would exactly call it love
but it's dripping down my consciousness
and your slipping down my lungs
so save it for a rainy day and maybe then you'll see
i am like the earth, old man, and you can't get around me
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