I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 83.

Nikki's POV

I slowly opened my eyes as I heard my phone ring. I groaned and put my pillow over my head. Leave me the fuck alone, I just want to be alone. That's all I fucking want. The ringing stopped and I sighed out in relief. Then, it started to ring again. "For fuck sake!" I yelled and threw the pillow. I got out of bed and shuffled over to the phone. "What?" I answered. "Nikki, it's Carly." Tommy's voice filled my eyes. I could tell he had been crying. "What about her?" I asked, now growing worried. "Last night, she tried to kill herself again, she did it right in front of me, she was in the middle of a drug psychosis." He said. I froze up. "She's in the hospital right now, we can go finally see her but, she's not doing well. She hasn't woken up yet." He said. I dropped the phone and ran back to my room and grabbed the first shirt I could find and slipped it over my head. I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my car keys and started to drive to the hospital.

There are so many thoughts running through my head, why would Carly try to do this again? I should have been there to stop her, I could have stopped her. If I didn't cheat on her, she wouldn't have done this. This is all my fucking fault, everything that's happening to Carly is all my fucking fault. I was suppose to help her anytime she felt like that, I was suppose to be there for her, I was suppose to protect her. Where was I? Wallowing in my own self pity. I'm fucking pathetic.

I parked and ran into the hospital. I ran up to reception. "Carly, uh, Carlotta Dean." I frantically said. "Nikki," I heard Tommy say. I looked over and saw Tommy and quickly ran over to him. "Where is she?" I asked. He sighed and started walking, he gestured me to follow him. I followed him and we stopped in front of a room. "Is this?" I asked. He nodded. "Her arms are bound, she was really unstable when she first woke, they gave her something to put her to sleep. Her arm is stitched up, she's okay physically but, mentally," he shook his head. "She's a wreck, Nikki." He said. I breathed out and walked in. I gasped when I saw her.

Her eyes have dark bags under them, her skin is sickly pale, her cheekbones are a lot more prominent and she looks so fragile. Her arm is stitched up, I can still see a faint red on her arm. Tommy was right, her arms are bound to the bed. I'm guessing she was thrashing around when she first woke. She's lost so much weight since I last saw her. "Does she eat?" I asked, looking at Tommy. "I try to get her to, she lives off of drugs and alcohol now. She's going on a downward spiral and she's not letting me help." He said. I shook my head. "My poor baby." I said, tears filling my eyes. I've never seen Carly look so bad before in my life. Her looks used to stop traffic, now she just looks like a junkie. She's in full blown addiction.

I sat down at a chair and took her hand in mine. I leaned close to her face and kissed her lips gently. As soon as I sat back in my chair, she started to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around a little. "Where am I?" She asked. "You're at the hospital, Starry Eyes." I spoke up. Her head shot to me and she looked down at our hands. "Are you really here?" She asked, tears filling her eyes. I gave her hand a small squeeze. "I'm really here, Carly." I replied. Tears ran down her cheeks. "Thank God, I'm not seeing things anymore." She said. "You were seeing me?" I asked. She nodded. "You were the person who told me to kill myself, as soon as you yelled it at me, I did it." She said.

I broke down and started sobbing. "Oh my god, baby." I sobbed. "I–I would never say anything like that to you, you know that, right?" I asked her. She nodded. I looked at her arms and track-marks littered all over, it pains me to see. "I'm sorry I got you addicted to this shit." I said. "It's not your fault, I chose to do this, Nikki. Don't blame yourself." She replied. "Wipe your tears, you're too handsome to cry." She said, cracking a small smile. "I'd wipe them, but I kinda can't." She said, moving her arms a little. I smiled a little and wiped the tears off my face. "There's my Nikki." She said, looking at me. "Carly, I was so worried about you." Tommy said. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, I hardly even remember what happened." She replied.

"You don't have to apologize, I'm just glad you're okay now." He said. "I'm going to get the doctor to see if you can be unbound." He said and walked out of the room. I looked back at Carly. "It's been a little bit since we've seen one another." I spoke. She nodded. "Yeah, I know." We got silent, should I ask about us? She just tried to kill herself, I don't know if this is the best time. "Have you thought about us getting back together?" I asked. She looked away from me. "Nikki–" is all she got out before Vince came into the room. Her face lit up, I felt my stomach turn. "Vince!" She said, happily. He smiled. "Hey, beautiful." He said and walked over and kissed her head. I felt myself getting angry.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. "I came to check up on you, as soon as I got the call, I came right away." He said. She smiled. "I'm glad you're here." She said. I let go of Carly's hand and walked out of the room. I needed to leave before I started yelling, I don't know why I get so angry so easily. I bet they're back together, I bet they're seeing each other again. Why am I even here? She doesn't wanna see me, she wants to see Vince. I'm not wanted here anymore.

I shook my head and stormed out of the hospital. She wants me gone, then I'm gone. I'm not going to make myself look like an idiot anymore. I got in my car and started to drive away. She won't have to deal with me ever again, I'll make sure I don't see her anymore, I can make sure for the next two days, she doesn't see me at all.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)