I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 32.

Carly's POV

I ran down the hall towards my room, flashbacks and memories ran through my mind. I remember doing this so much when I was a kid. I made it to my room and turned to slam the door, my Dad came barreling down the hall and grabbed me by the hair and yanked me to the ground. "You're not getting away again, you think you can just run out on your Mother and I?!" He yelled directly in my face. "I-I'm sorry!" I cried, holding onto my head where he was grabbing my hair. "You think you're all big and bad running off with some drug addict?!" He yelled, yanking my hair more. I felt more tears run down my face. I wanted to yell at him to defend Nikki, I wanted to scream at him to never talk about Nikki again but, I just laid on the ground and pathetically cried like I did when I was 16.

He spit on me and it landed on my cheek, I cringed and wiped it off with my sleeve. He dropped my hair and my head hit the ground, I looked up at him and saw him potion himself to kick me, I yelped and covered my head as his foot came into contact with the back of my head. I cried out in pain and covered my face as I cried. I heard footsteps walk away. I laid on the ground and cried for a while. Why did I come back here? I would have preferred to be homeless on the streets in LA.

I finally got up and walked into my room. I shut the door and locked it. I sat down on the edge of my bed and looked out my window. I saw little raindrops starting to hit my window. I felt a smile appear on my face. I love the rain, I love it even more when Nikki's by my side. I felt myself crying more, I miss him. I haven't been away from him in 5 years. Part of me feels like it's gone, it feels like it stayed in LA. I sighed and grabbed my small box from under my bed and opened it. I have my blow and all the stuff that I use for it, next to it I have the pictures of Nikki and I.

I sighed sadly and started to flip through them. I looked at the one we took before we went to the woods when we were teens, our tongues out, I remember this so vividly. I remember all the times Nikki and I spent together when I was 16. I smiled a little, but it soon turned to tears again. I hate this place and I hate the people in it. I know hate is a horrible thing to use when you talk about your parents but, I do. I know they hate me, too. I am not wanted here, I'm not wanted by Nikki anymore and I was never wanted by him in the way I wanted him.

I need to get over it but, I know I won't. I'm sure I'll love him forever and I'll miss him for even more, of that's possible. I put my pictures back in my box and looked back at the window, the rain was really coming down. I heard yelling coming from the living room and I grabbed my Too Fast For Love cassette and popped it in, I turned it down low and I skipped a few songs until Starry Eyes came on. I sat down on my bed again.

I cried more as I heard the song. The worst part about being back here is that Nikki isn't here to come and get me, I can't escape. Nikki was my escape when I was last here, he'd come and get me to take my mind off of things, we'd do all sorts of things together and it made me love and cherish life. Now that he's gone and I'm here, I have nothing to cherish.

I have nothing. Nothing at all to live for. Nikki's gone, my abusive parents are the worst they've ever been. What am I still here for? Why do I have a life like this? What did I do to deserve all of this?

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)