I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 67.

Chapter 67.

Carly's POV

I sighed as I sat on the rooftop, looking at the stars. I lit a cigarette and exhaled the smoke into the cool California air. I feel so lost, I haven't been able to sleep, it's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep whatsoever. I have way too much on my mind. I've cried for so long that I just feel numb, I can't cry. My eyes are swollen and raw, my head is aching because of how much I've cried, I miss my baby. I looked up at the stars and the moon and sniffled. I wonder what happens to a baby that early on when they pass, they're so little that they weren't even a person yet. The baby was only about the size of a grain of rice, they didn't even get a chance.

I looked down at my cigarette between my pointer finger and middle finger. At least the baby didn't feel any pain, they were so little that they probably didn't feel anything. I hope the baby didn't feel anything. I lifted my shirt up and looked at my stomach. I have a bruise forming where the man kicked me. I hate him, I don't hate people very easily but, I hate him. He ruined my baby's life before it even had a chance at life. I took a drag of my cigarette and breathed it out. What happens to baby's that little when they die? What happens to any of us when we die? Are we reunited with our loved ones? I'm not a religious person, so I don't know what I believe.

I took a few more drags of my cigarette and flicked it off the roof. I heard something coming up the roof and I turned my back to see Nikki climbing the ladder to the roof, he crawled over and sat next to me. "How'd you know I was up here?" I asked. "You always go on the roof when you're upset and lost, you always have." He said, wrapping an arm around me. I stayed silent and looked at the stars again. "You always come up and look at the stars, that's why you're my Starry Eyes." He added on. I smiled a little and looked over at Nikki. "Did I wake you?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nah, I have been waking up and falling back asleep all night," he replied. I nodded and looked back up at the stars.

"I don't know how to be okay, Nikki." I finally spoke, he pulled me closer to him and kissed my head. "Honestly, I don't know how to be okay, either. We'll figure it out, we'll get over this." He said. "I don't wanna try for another kid for a while," I replied. "I agree, I'm really hurt by all of this." He said. I sniffled. "I hate that man," I said. "I do, too. If I got another chance to hurt him, he'd be dead." He said, lowly. I looked over at Nikki and kissed his lips quickly. "So much for a great December," I said, sadly. He gave me a sad smile. "Hey, don't talk like that, baby. We can still have a great December with the boys and Carrie, we still have each other, too." He said. I nodded and looked up at the stars again.

"What do you think happens when we die?" I asked. Nikki took a deep breath. "Damn, pretty deep question," he started. "Well, I don't know. I don't know where I really stand on the whole God thing, I'd like to think that when we die, we're reunited with the people we love." He said. I nodded. "Do you think when we die, we'll see each other again in the afterlife?" I asked. "Damn, you're really thinking a lot tonight, hm?" He asked. I nodded and looked over at him again. "I'm serious, Nikki. Do you think we'll see each other again or do you think that when you and I die, we're just gone? Because I never want to be without you, even after life." I said. He smiled a little. "With how connected we are, we'll find each other after we die." He replied. I felt my lips smile a little.

"I can't believe how much things have changed," I started. "I have loved you for so long, I know I fell in love with you when we were teens, that's why I ran away with you." I said. "I still remember the day you told me you were leaving," I added on.

"What's wrong, Frank? You look upset." I said. Frank looked over at me as we sat on the roof. "Carly, I can't be here anymore." He said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I gotta get out of Washington." He said. "What?" I asked. I felt my heartbeat pick up, is he leaving me? "I gotta get out, I'm leaving Washington tomorrow and getting on the Grayhound bus to L.A. tomorrow morning." He said. I felt tears burn my eyes. "Frank.." I trailed off. I looked away from him and felt the tears run down to face. "You-You're all I have," I cried. "What will I do without you?" I cried harder. I felt his arms wrap around me. "You have to understand, I can't live with my Mom anymore, I can't be with my Grandparents again, I just need to break out of here." He said. My sobs were shaking my body. I'll be truly alone again, without Frank here, all I have are my parents. I'll have to be home a lot more again, Frank being here, he's been my hero. He comes and gets me all the time, he takes me away from my house and gives me a break, some happiness. "Please don't cry, Starry Eyes," he said, his voice shaking. I could tell he was crying, too.

"Come with me," he said. My head shot up. "What?" I asked. "Come with me, leave that house. Come live with me!" He said. "Frank, I'm 16–" "You'll be 17 soon! Come on, don't think about it, live with me. Runaway with me." He said. "Escape this place, Carly." He said. I rubbed my eyes and looked at him. "Let's go! Fuck tomorrow morning, let's go now!" He exclaimed. "Frank, I can't just leave, I'm still a minor!" I replied. "Don't think about it, Carly. Come on, we can go get your stuff and we can get to the bus station and leave, never look back." He said. I bit my lower lip and looked at Frank again. "Please? I don't wanna lose my Starry Eyes." He said. I smiled and he smiled, too. "Let's go." I replied.

"It was the best decision I have ever made." I said, smiling, remembering that night. "I was afraid you wouldn't come with me." Nikki spoke up. "I didn't wanna leave you, if you said no, I would've stayed there with you." He added on. "Really?" I asked, looking at him. He nodded. "Yep, I loved you, I wasn't gonna leave you." He said. "You were willing to sacrifice your dreams just to stay with me?" I asked. He nodded. "You're way more important than any record deal." He said. I smiled again and hugged him tightly. "Public Enemy #1 is about that night," he said, releasing me from the hug. "It is?" I asked. He nodded. "No wonder I love that song so much," I smiled. "Are there any songs about me in your Shout At The Devil album?" I asked.

"I kinda wrote Looks That Kill about you," he said. I giggled. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah, you have looks that kill." He winked. I giggled again. "Thank you for coming up here and making me smile." I said, smiling. "You don't need to thank me, I can't stand you being sad." He said. I looked back up at the sky and saw the sun starting to rise. "Well, there goes our sleeping schedule," I mumbled. He chuckled. "Let's get down and go back to bed, baby." He said. "I'm not tired, though." I pouted. "I'm sorry, what I meant to say was, let's go back to my room and do smack and then we can sit on the porch and watch the sun continue to rise." He said. I laughed a little. "Sounds like a date," I said. He laughed and we climbed down.

We got back to his room and he hugged me tightly. "Don't worry, baby. We'll get through this," he said and kissed my head. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. "I know we will, if I have you by my side, I can get through anything." I replied.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)