Coffee & Cigarettes

Part 10

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"The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind."

- Kiran Desai

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It had been a few days since I had hung out with Emma and somehow I found myself standing in a hospital lobby.

I hated hospitals.

The lights were always too bright and the smell of cleaning supplies and death were always both stale and fresh in the air.

I really hated hospitals.

But, I wasn't here for me.

"Can I help you find someone?" A nurse asked me from behind a desk. Unlike the hospital my mom worked at, this nurse's uniform was a pale blue color.

Similarly, the nurse's black hair was tied back away from her face.

"Uhm...Can you tell me which room Ian West is in?" I asked awkwardly as I looked away from the nurse.

Across the hall, I could see a woman crying into a man's shoulder. The sound of her sobs getting louder as he hugged her.

I really fucking hated hospitals.

"Are you a relative?" The nurse asked breaking my train of thought. "Uhm...Yes?" I lied.

Better safe than sorry, I didn't want to risk them telling me I couldn't see him. I could feel the pit in my stomach grow. I needed to see him.

The nurse didn't look convinced by my answer. "ID?" She asked.

I bit my lip as I quickly handed her my ID. She looked at it for a moment before looking back at me her brow raised. Still, she didn't question me as she wrote something down.

"Room 130A." The nurse finally answered as she handed me back my ID and a visitor's pass.

I walked away quickly before she could call me out on my lie.

I didn't know where I was walking, but it must have been in the right direction.

Room 136...134...132...I stopped.

The door was closed.

Do I knock? Or, do I just walk in? What if he didn't want to see me? We weren't exactly the closest of friends...

I sighed. I was already here. There was no backing out now.

I opened the door and walked into the room.

The room was split in two. On one half was an empty bed and chairs and on the other side sat Ian on another bed. A chair by his side as he looked out the window of his room. A small tv hanging from the wall.

"I knew you'd be bac-oh" Ian started as he turned to me a smile on his face. He stopped as he saw it was me. He frowned.

Everyone had been doing that lately.

"I thought you were someone else."

Ian looked different; really different.

He was thinner than I remembered; his face sunken in and his hair all but gone. One eye covered by an eyepatch the other a light red color.

I looked away.

"Sorry to disappoint you," I mumbled quietly as I looked out the window he had been staring out of when I walked in.

He laughed, I turned to him. "Not at all. It's good to see you, Daniel. While I can still see that is." He said with a soft smile.

I didn't know how to reply.