Coffee & Cigarettes

Part 23

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"I am the same but different, and I greet this new reflection with a nod of acceptance."

― Ariel Lawhon

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"What do you think of my dad?" I asked glancing up from my drawing over to Ashely.

We were currently sitting in my room waiting for my test results to come out. The results were supposed to be posted online sometime in the next hour and would decide if I graduated with everyone else or if I would be officially forced to stay back.

"I don't know. I have a general distrust of adults so I'm probably the wrong person to ask. Why?" Ashley asked wearily, turning to look at me. A cigarette in her hand.

"Just wondering. Emma said some stuff about him and I'm not sure what to make of it." I admitted.

"You saw Emma?" Ashley asked, tilting her head as she blew smoke in my direction.

"It's not that big of a deal."

"You're joking, right? You two had a conversation without getting into some huge fight? Like you're really not gonna spend the next month whining about her?"

"We don't always get into fights," I muttered, looking away from the newly green-haired girl and back down to my drawing.

I had recently started to experiment with charcoal again. Something about the medium was both freeing and matched the darkness I felt in a way paint didn't.

Ashley scoffed before tossing her nearly finished cigarette out my open bedroom window and fanning the air. "So you two are cool again then?" She asked doubtfully.

"Well-" I started but stopped myself. That was a difficult question to answer.

When I left Emma's house yesterday it hadn't been on the happiest note. But it wasn't because of anything between us. Emma had been terribly upset with her parents. The moment I told her the truth she looked like she was going to explode.

"You know, you two are actually like the same fucking person, right? I'm pretty sure all of the problems you guys have could be solved with one simple conversation if only you both grew a pair and stopped being so scared of making a big move." Ashley said. Her back to me as she looked out my window before slamming it shut.

"You say that like it's so easy."

"because it is," The eye-roll in her tone was so obvious I could practically see it with her back still facing me.

"I don't know if I can trust her," I admitted honestly. It was true. I did want to trust Emma but something was holding me back. I think it was the fear of being let down again. Ashley turned to me, not bothering to hide her eye roll this time. "That sounds more like a you problem than a her problem."

"Gee, thanks," I muttered scribbling down at my drawing so roughly my charcoal snapped in my hand. I sighed looking down at the messy drawing. I had gotten rusty, that's for sure.