Coffee & Cigarettes

Part 1

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"Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."

-Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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It's the weirdest fucking thing how much your life can change in a matter of months....

One choice, one moment, one person can change everything. In a single instant, everything is different and the shitty part is no matter how much you try to make things go back to the way they were you can't.

I used to think I wanted things to change; that I needed to find whatever it was I was missing.

And then things began to actually change. And at first it was good; it was really good.

I made new friends. I went to new places. I fell in love...

Then I lost control and let's just say everything went to shit.

I was snapped out my thought by the sound of laughter coming from downstairs.

The house smelt faintly of sugar and chocolate as my mom and sister Vanessa made cookies.

Two weeks. I had officially been home for two weeks.

It was weird being back. A part of me felt like I didn't really belong here anymore and the other part of me never wanted to leave again.

I thought back to my welcome home party a few weeks ago.

If I noticed one thing it's that a lot has changed while I was gone.

She had changed.

She wasn't that secretly sassy quiet girl anymore.

She wasn't afraid anymore.

She sat a little straighter. She spoke a little louder. She smiled so much brighter.

After six months, only two things about her stayed the same.

Emma was still blind and she still made my heart race.

Now I'm the one that is afraid.

Six months; I lost six months.

I knew leaving was the right choice. But why does everything feel so wrong still?

I still remember it as if had just happened.

Emma turned to me and smiled as she said my name. She told me 'welcome back' and that was it. She got up and left. Before I could get a chance to actually talk to her she was leaving with Rebecca.

What the fuck did it mean?

She hadn't visited me, but she was at the party. She was still wearing the necklace. It had to mean something.

There was a knock on my door.

I turned to see my mom smiling at me. A plate of cookies in her hand.

"I thought you might like a snack." She said softly.

"Thanks," I said forcing myself to smile as I took a cookie. I waited for my mom to leave, but she didn't. She sat down on my bed and turned to me.

"Are you excited for school?" She asked me.

I frowned, "Not really."

School starts in a little over a week and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dreading it.

This was supposed to be my senior year and I was supposed to be excited, but because I was gone so long it wasn't going to be my senior year.

I was going to be a junior again and all my friends are going to seniors without me.

So yeah, I was definitely not excited.

"I know you're a little upset about it, but this could turn out to be a good thing. You don't need the stress of college right now especially since you are still adjusting to being back." She said softly.

I turned to her. Before I could respond Vanessa walked into the room. Her jacket in her hand.

"Sorry to interrupt, but my mom just called and she needs me home for dinner and it kinda of getting dark outside and I'm still not a hundred percent used to the area yet so I don't really wanna walk home alone. So I was wondering if it were possible and if you aren't too busy if you could give me a ride home?" Vanessa rambled on.

I smiled. When I first met Vanessa her rambling was a little off-putting, but now it had it own secret charm. Things might have started rough, but I liked having a little sister.

"Sure, honey." My mom said as she got up and walked out of the room to grab her car keys.

"Thanks!" Vanessa yelled happily as she followed behind my mom. Vanessa stopped before quickly turning back to me. "Bye, Daniel. I'll see you tomorrow." She said before running after my mom again.

Although I liked having my family together, I knew we weren't perfect.

If it weren't obvious at my welcome home party that something wasn't right then it had become very obvious over the last two weeks.

But, right now everyone in my family seemed pretty happy with pretending everything was fine and I was pretty happy pretending not to notice that it wasn't.

I guess I could say that about everything though.

Since I'd come home everyone has pretended that everything was suddenly alright, suddenly fixed, but it wasn't. And, I'm not so sure how long all of us can keep pretending.

I could hear the front door slam as they left.

I sighed. Man, I could really use a smoke right now.

[Published: October 6th, 2018]

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A/n: And so the story begins!