Coffee & Cigarettes

Part 35

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"If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind."

 ― Shannon L. Alder

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Emma is avoiding me. And, maybe it's for the best. If she stays away from me perhaps those thugs will stay away from her.

I know staying away from her is what I should be trying to do so why can't I? Why can't I accept that it would be best if what we have is over? Why can't I let her go when I know the only way she'll ever be happy is without me?

I know how I feel about her. I always have. But am I really so selfish that I'd be able to continue putting my hope that somehow we'll work everything out ahead of the fact that maybe we just aren't meant to be?

I know I'll never be the person she needs me to be but that doesn't stop me from trying to be.

And, as I sit in our school's crowded auditorium watching families find seats for the first time in two weeks I'm not desperately trying to think of a way to make an insane amount of money, no instead, I can't help but think this is the end.

When they call her name and she walks across the stage will that be the last time I see her face?

"Anyone sitting here?" A voice asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I turned to see Azeem smiling at me with a goofy grin. Ian and his father standing closely behind him. The three of them waited for my reply. I forced myself to smile.

"No. You guys can sit." I mumbled. Azeem happily sat to my right. Ian on my left.

"You left prom so quickly I didn't even get a chance to say hi," Azeem complained. "Sorry, I had... a thing," I mumbled. Ian snorted back a laugh. His expression was hidden behind chunky black glasses.

"What are you guys doing here anyway? Shouldn't you both be at your own schools?" I asked, trying to get the conversation away from myself.

Azeem gave me a funny look like I was growing a second head. "I took my finals early. Nothing, not even school, was gonna stop me from being here for Michael and Ashley." He answered. I cringed at the sound of her name.

"I dropped out. No point wasting time trying to get a diploma I'll never use. And like Azeem, I wanted to be here while I still could at least...but for Emma and Ashley." Ian replied. Again I cringed.

Ashley was definitely a name I never wanted to hear again. While Emma was busy avoiding me these last two weeks I was busy avoiding Ashley. Every time I thought I was finally rid of her, she'd somehow find a way to pop back up asking to talk and explain. But there was nothing to talk about. She is a user and I'm the idiot that let her use me. I had fallen right into her trap of a game. And, I wasn't gonna sit around and let myself get drawn back in.

"You guys should be careful around her."

"Who?" Ian asked in confusion.

"Ashley. She isn't... a good person."

"Wow, I never thought you'd be so quick to judge someone for making a few mistakes," Azeem commented, looking away from me. His tone is cool. His loyal nature stopped him from hearing me out. If he knew what Ashley was capable of he would agree with me, but this wasn't the place to talk around it. Not with Ian's dad sitting so close and listening.

"Are they just a few mistakes or a lot of bad choices?" I asked back.

Azeem shook his head before turning to me. His brown eyes are sad."Did she really have any choices if it was the only option left?" Wait, did Azeem already know the truth? And, if he did, how long had he known? Our eyes searched one another in silent debate. Oh, he definitely knew.