Chasing Zero

Twenty-Three

Wrapping his arm around my waist, he led me into his house. It was quite upscale, which made sense for the neighborhood he lived in. Not to mention how it was the house he grew up in with two sisters, a brother, and four dogs over the past twenty years, so it made sense there would be a lot of space for the whole family.

"Mom, this is Spencer," he chimed.

A stout woman stood up from the couch and beamed the moment her eyes met mine. Her skin was smooth as a porcelain doll's face, and her lips were decked in ruby red lipstick. Her strawberry blonde hair fell in short curls over her shoulders. Her eyebrows were thin and perfectly plucked. She was a goddess in the flesh. Just taking hold of her pink manicured fingers in my own felt like a privilege. Her whole essence screamed nothing but joy and being in her presence was quite a treat.

"It's lovely to finally meet you," she sang as she pulled me in for a hug. "With all the things Sky says about you, I feel as though I have known you for years now."

"Mom," he groaned, but he was smiling nonetheless. "Spencer, this is my mom, Bridget."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I smiled as calmly as could, because I was a mess on the inside. This angel of a woman stood before me, and I could hardly keep myself together. A part of me wanted to cry, but I could have sworn that was just the nerves. Good thing Sky held onto me, keeping me grounded, because who knew what sort of foul language I could poison her with.

Skipping the rest of the formalities, she quickly introduced me to Amy's parents, as well as Tony's. There were a few other parents there, and I heard their names but forgot them the moment she said them. But I kept smiling and greeted them all the same.

Bridget led me into the kitchen, and Sky followed close behind. "While you're here, make yourself at home. Sky said you just got off work, so while we do have snacks, I can make you some dinner if you'd like."

"Oh, no, that won't be necessary. I can manage," I quickly assured.

Sky squeezed my shoulder, staring down at me with a frown. "Are you sure you don't want anything? You've been at work since three, right?"

"Yes, but I had a lunch break at five, so I'm good."

"That was hours ago," Bridget frowned. "You must be starving by now. I'll make a sandwich for you."

"That's really not necessary."

"Oh, nonsense. You shouldn't starve yourself." She turned away from the pantry and asked, "Would you prefer a cold sandwich or a warm one?"

Knowing there was no point in arguing, I settled for a peanut butter sandwich on white bread. I hated those sandwiches. I used to eat one every day from elementary school to sophomore year when I finally got my own job and could pay for my own lunches. But I didn't want to bother taking any of their cold cut meats or anything. Besides, I could easily wash my mouth out with the fruit and cream cheese dip Sky said was downstairs. My mouth watered at the taste.

"See, you were hungry," Sky laughed as I scarfed my sandwich down. He sat at the kitchen island with me as his friends continued to play games downstairs. I felt guilty for keeping him from having fun, but he told me right away that he would much rather hang out with me instead.

While the gesture should have flattered me, probably cause my heart to beat heavily in my chest, it didn't. Nothing did. It was still blank relationship with him. Though I had tried to convince myself over and over again that the feelings were normal, that it was how all relationships were, I knew I was wrong. There was no romance in me. I felt nothing towards him.

Maybe I needed to try harder. The man standing in front of me was a catch. Anyone would be lucky to date such an incredible man. And I had been told countless times I needed a relationship in order to be happy and feel fulfilled. All I needed was a great person. Not someone mediocre, but rather great. I needed someone to hold me and love me and tell me that things were going to get better and be there when I was feeling down. And all of that was right in front of me, waiting for me in Sky's arms, yet all I felt was neutral. There had to be something wrong with me.